Dialectic Smurfaterialism For Beginners

Posted on January 20, 2006 by Scott Jennings| 13 Comments

Are you now, or have you ever been a smurf.

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  • Balasarius

    I never liked smurfs, now I know why.

  • CommieSmurf

    the secret is out

  • BugHunter

    I’ve always found smurfing to be a smurftastic idea.

    La laa le la la la.

  • xaldin

    Thats a lot to read into a bunch of blue critters running around being chased by a dunce and his cat.

    Though I have to admit the theme song was catchy. I’m almost always humming it when I’m doing something bad to someone.

  • Freakazoid

    If I didn’t know better, I’d say you had a hand in writing most of that.

  • Notin

    I’ve always been of the opinion that smurfs were asexual creatures that replicated through binary fission. The main characters are simply mutations, with Smurfette being a cross dresser (at least as much as cross dressing makes in an asexual society).

  • Jurrasic

    I always thought they were (literally) gay. Until the TV show introduced Smurfette I think most people did too.

  • L233

    Gargamel has very clear semitic features. He looks like a caricature sprung from a St\’c3\’bcrmer cartoon. That makes him not just a reactionary capitalist pig but also a Jew bent on making gold out of innocent sweet little people.

  • D-0ne

    Some people have too much free time. Seriously. An outdated cartoon show that no one watches anymore is not worthy of this type of scrutiny and analysis even if it’s just a joke… It’s not even a good joke.

    There is only one Smurf show left to be made… The one where the entire caste of good and evil are attacked by relatively “giant” spiders and everyone is eaten alive, screaming, overly gorified and done in an “The Blair Witch Project” format… Smurfette would of course be carrying the DVD recorder and be the last to be eaten alive, screaming, the camera on its side on the ground recording 80% of the needed frame.

  • Evangolis

    Bah, what silly nonsense. The Smurfs clearly are paternalistic anti-intellectual propaganda aimed at glorifying the conformist westernized consumer culture. Anyone can see that.

  • ajeba

    What smurfy things do you know? We have smurfy ways of making you talk, yes?

  • Merkwurdigliebe

    The author of that article is in more dire need of a blow job than any white man in history.

  • =j

    I smurfed that smurf in the smurf so hard she smurfed.