If You Want To Keep Custody Of Your Children, Stay Away From Goat Masks

Posted on March 20, 2006 by Scott Jennings| 11 Comments

From boing boing, Judge takes a woman’s child away for… um… being a Subgenius.

His Honor also strongly disapproved of the photos of Mary Magdalen [Rachel Bevilacqua] in a bondage dress and papier mach\’c3\’a9 goat\’e2\’80\’99s head. The judge repeatedly asked, \’e2\’80\’9cWhy a goat? What\’e2\’80\’99s so significant about a goat\’e2\’80\’99s head?\’e2\’80\’9d When Rachel replied, \’e2\’80\’9cI just thought the word \’e2\’80\’98goat\’e2\’80\’99 was funny,\’e2\’80\’9d Judge Punch lost his temper completely, and began to shout abuse at Rachel, calling her a \’e2\’80\’9cpervert,\’e2\’80\’9d \’e2\’80\’9cmentally ill,\’e2\’80\’9d \’e2\’80\’9clying,\’e2\’80\’9d and a participant in \’e2\’80\’9csex orgies.\’e2\’80\’9d The judge ordered that Rachel is to have absolutely no contact with her son, not even in writing, because he felt the pictures of X-Day performance art were evidence enough to suspect \’e2\’80\’9csevere mental illness\’e2\’80\’9d. Rachel has had no contact with Kohl since that day, February 3, 2006.

Not only that, she repeatedly insists on using that deviltry known as the Internet!

The reason for Magdalen’s absence (and the lack of the transcripts) became clear as of Thursday, March 9. On that day, I learned that the judge had ordered Magdalen to cease all communication on the Internet regarding her son. This was not a written statement \’e2\’80\ldblquote the judge had verbally ordered her to remain offline, and no written order was available. Magdalen stated that even though the order was verbal, the court considered it to be an official order from the judge, and so she has had to remain offline since then.

However, as of March 15th, Magdalen had obtained legal reputation from none other than the law firm of Lipsitz Green Fahringer Roll Salisbury & Cambria, LLP. (This firm includes Larry Flynt and Marilyn Manson among their clients.) Magdalen’s legal team is challenging this order. When the order is overturned and she is online again, she will have quite a story to tell.

Lesson: in America, don’t piss off the judge. Or else you’ll get TEXAS JUSTICE.

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  • Balasarius

    I had to google Subgenius. I then read the article on Wikipedia. Well, skimmed it, mostly.

    I’d say I learned something today, but I actually don’t think that’s quite true.

    What happened to the “noodly appendage” guy? He was a cuter alternative to mainstream religion than “Bob”.

  • http://blog.funtax.org funtax

    “I\’e2\’80\’99d say I learned something today, but I actually don\’e2\’80\’99t think that\’e2\’80\’99s quite true.

    What happened to the ‘noodly appendage’ guy? He was a cuter alternative to mainstream religion than ‘Bob’.”

    The Church of the Subgenius seriously predates the Flying Spaghetti Monster when it comes to humorous atheistic poking of the eyes of mainstream religious folk. As for not learning anything, in saying that, you have – in fact – learned one of the great truths of the Subgenius. Continue along the path.

    Hail Bob.

  • Brask Mumei

    I like the idea of banning of internet communication relating to the case. Sounds like an excellent boiler plate to add to all future potentially unpopular decisions I might make as a judge!

  • http://www.edgecase.net/devsite Cael

    And i learned to stay in the UK. We’re not quite that fucked up yet.

    Yet.

  • http://www.shadowclan.org ogur

    They used to show random subgenius propagandi on Night Flight on the USA network decades ago during the deepest part of the evening. I thought alot of it looked ahead of its time ala early DEVO. Wonderfully produced disturbing chaotic video collages.
    But it was all incredibly obvious over-the-top tongue in cheek satire. This judge is just severely mentally challenged. Scary.

    Hail Bob

  • Turlow

    A member of The Church of the Subgenius gets screwed by a judge in the Bible Belt. Is this supposed to be surprising? This is just another case that demonstrates how broken out criminal justice system is.

  • =j

    We don’t have a justice system. We have a legal system.

  • http://ambernight.org Amber

    The problem here is that we’re exporting too much of our democracy. We forgot to keep some of it for ourselves.

  • Turlow

    Dear World,

    I am writing to you on behalf of the United States of America. We hope you are enjoying your new American Democracy and that it is serving you well. It has served us well for over 200 years.

    Unfortunately, we’ve run into a small problem. It seems we have been a bit to liberal in our sharing of Democracy and now we’re running low. We are requesting that you return half of the Democracy we have sent you. In exchange, we will send to you 200 Abu Ghraib torture photos, 10 Guantanamo Bay detainees, 50 hours of illegal wire tapping recordings and 1 free extraordinary-rendition from any country in the world to any other country in the world.

    We hope you respond quickly and positively to this request as our citizens are starting to notice their declining freedoms and lack of representation in government.

  • TPRJones

    funtax, I do believe that is the best capsule summary of the power of slack I’ve ever seen. Bravo.

  • http://www.geocities.com/flower42pineapplegar/natural-boulders-flagstone-garden-design.html elvie

    thank you for your work