April 2006

We Few, We Happy Few, We Band of Brothers

I thought only people who worked on an MMO live team could be this bitter!

There is a moral core that is missing from the game development community that exists in other industries, even in other entertainment sectors. In movies, you can still make documentaries that right past wrongs. In books, you can seek to help and enlighten. In games? I wonder.

I have my own answer to that, but feel free to leave your own in the comments.

Live! Nude! Keybindings!

Clearly, girl-geeks gone wild is becoming some sort of wacky trend.

Malcom McLaren* had this to say about his new site:

One of the things we noticed as our servers grew was that every time a girl came to play, people would give them all sorts of shit. Stereotypes, such as \’e2\’80\’9cgirls don\’e2\’80\’99t play video games unless they\’e2\’80\’99re fat ugly losers\’e2\’80\’9d and \’e2\’80\’9cGirls don\’e2\’80\’99t play, it must be a 12 year old boy!!!11!11!\’e2\’80\’9d appeared very quickly. We came up with a way that we might be able to reverse the trend.

That way: tasteful nudity. Yes, obviously that is the way to start a reasonable dialogue among hormonally overdosed teenagers!

As seen on Abalieno’s site, who apparently is no longer calling for the nuclear destruction of Italy now that Berlusconi actually lost the election.

Edit: Poppinfresh goes nuclear. Whee!

[13:18] Lum: You know, I hate to say it, but Malice’s latest webcam shot is actually kinda hot.
[13:18] Mr. Poppinfresh: she is a human realdoll
[13:18] Mr. Poppinfresh: devoid of any and all personality
[13:19] Lum: True! But I like the Shannen Doherty thing she’s got going on, combined with the artistic nudity and my refusing to read any actual text.

*note: not actually Malcom McLaren.

Freedom isn’t free… it costs $1.05.

AT&T and NSA, working together to make sure your every search for porn doesn’t go unwanted, unloved, and unexamined.

Given the massive scale of the spy operation in the US (and this is only one company; it’s not yet clear if the NSA has partnered with other telecom firms), it’s growing increasingly difficult to believe that this is truly “targeted surveillance.” The equipment used and the vast scale of the information being monitored both suggest that the NSA is sifting through massive amounts of user data and phone calls. Much of the information that passes through their spy system must therefore be domestic rather than international in nature. It is possible that phone calls, for instance, that begin and end in the US are simply passed through the system without being scanned, but if so, this must certainly tempt the NSA, which has only to tweak their settings to see all that new data.

See, this is why we just can’t have nice things.

Today’s rampaging stupidity is brought to you by Twitch Guru (pause while my eye twitches uncontrollably): a multiplayer melee on female gamers.
There’s oh, so many places this can go, and a few of them are even worksafe! The article, which references Kim Rom’s previous rampaging stupidity approvingly, equates women who game with Fragdoll-esque “grrl power!” joysticks ‘n spandex marketing fantasies, and from that comes to this conclusion:

“Female gaming”, as it exists today on the professional circuit – and in the minds of the policy makers, if not the legions of female MMORPG players – is nothing more than a deluded male fantasy gone wild.

He then also complains that the Suicide Girls (no link, because… um… it’s porn) aren’t real gamers. Now, I’m not quite sure who was asserting that the Suicide Girls were a gaming clan. Unless your definition of gaming clan includes getting naked and charging a monthly fee for photo access? Well, um, in that case you may be in another deluded male fantasy gone wild.

Speaking of deluded male fantasies gone wild, I’m pretty sure this feature is the only story which includes:


  • nude renders of characters from Uwe Boll movies
  • \tab

  • Stevie “Killcreek” Case’s CV
  • \tab

  • Fragdoll publicity stills
  • \tab

  • E3 booth babe pictures
  • \tab

  • Ads for laptops from Tom’s Hardware

I tell you, it’s like they laid out this article just for me. Escapist, take note! All that’s needed is a few explosions.

The real atrocity of this article, of course, is that it actually refers to the “professional gamer circuit” without irony. From this first person shooter-centric viewpoint that views women as strange, mystical creatures who “play those MMO things”, any woman that dares to actually be good at shooters is obviously just there as some sort of plaything. The fact that most ridiculously corporate fabricated “grrl gamer” FPS clans are aimed at this stereotype only proves that the corporate culture providers still do their best to manufacture velveeta. The original sin isn’t theirs – it’s in the legions of FPS server habitues who created a locker room culture that turned “teabag” into a verb.

So, with what thought should I leave you?

In the meantime, we shouldn’t lump in every girl that loves gaming with the frauds and posers. According to research from sources like the Nielsen Entertainment Interactive Group, close to 40 percent of gamers today in America are female, and that number is projected to grow. So let’s not let the minority of pin-up girls with poor gaming skills ruin things for the majority of girls that really love gaming.

So… if a real editor was filing that story, that last para could have been punched up to:

Yeah. The previous 6 pages? Uh, I was wrong. My bad.

Hooray for online gaming journalism!

Just gimme one more DKP, man… I’m beggin’ ya

The BBC had another “ZOMG China sure loves them some online games” story this weekend.

The kicker… they have a picture of what is credited as “a gamer in Beijing’s internet addiction centre“.


Learn From Lei Feng Online” suddenly makes more sense. It’s methadone.

Meanwhile, here in America World of Warcraft guilds linked to orgiastic debauchery. No. Really. (I blame AFKGamer for linking to what seemed to be a sane forum. I KNOW BETTER NOW!)

Annyeong, yeongeo hal jul aseyo?

If you understood the above (“Hello, do you speak English?”), you probably don’t need this website. It’s a newsletter in English that covers the Korean gaming industry. Free registration gets you very basic news access (which is still more coverage of the Korean market then you get, uh, anywhere), subscription fees of about 12 quadzillion dollars give you other wacky stuff.

They have a few MMOs in Korea, I’m given to understand!

Today’s example of “People Unclear On The Concept” is brought to you by the state of Michigan

A Redford, Michigan man is tired of children getting in the way of his “Den of Love” with his wife and is telling his entire neighborhood about it.

No, wait. That doesn’t reach enough people. Let’s tell the entire Internet about it.

You know, maybe it’s just me, but this is not high on the list of things I’d want the Internet to know about.

Valentina’s reply was short and sweet, “You know what? He’ll live.”