You need help. Yes, you.

Posted on June 9, 2006 by Scott Jennings| 10 Comments

I’m not sure what’s more disturbing:

1) That Holland now has a detox center for online gamers, or

2) That three of you sent this to me this morning. CRY FOR HELP, PEOPLE!

“We have kids who don’t know how to communicate with people face-to-face because they’ve spent the last three years talking to somebody in Korea through a computer,” Bakker said. “Their social network has completely disappeared.”

It can start with a Game Boy, perhaps given by parents hoping to keep their children occupied but away from the television. From there, it can progress to multilevel games that aren’t made to be won.

Come on, there are co-eds in Washington that are pining away, because we are all fixated on upgrading our pants. Clearly, this is a battle that MUST BE WON. I recommend starting with alcohol.

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  • http://www.eqclerics.org Boanerges

    I think the next step is to pass laws that forbid driving while under the influence of gaming so they can be compelled to go to this place by the courts. If you are pulled over and are found to have two or more games in the vehicle and cannot pass a field non-gaming test (where you must write a complete paragraph without using common gamer lingo like “OMG THS COP SUX”) then you can be arrested and charged with driving while under the influence of gaming.

    We also need to pass stiffer laws against gaming. Literally trillions of bits of gaming paraphanalia is brought into this country EVERY DAY. Politicians turn a blind eye while kids game their eyes out. Mario is the new Joe Camel. I propose someone start a chapter of Mothers of Internet Living Freaks to help combat this problem.

    Only you can prevent Onxyia raids. Only you…

    (Sponsored by Jack Thompson. When you know about gaming addiction, you know Jack)

  • Xyntar

    My name is Xyntar, and I’ve been a gamer for 18 years.

  • Merkwurdigliebe

    What about football wives?

  • D-0ne

    We’ve all been associated with each other online for what? Seven or eight years now?

    We know about cat ass. We’ve (I assume you, forgive the assumption) all seen the person who allowed their life to go to complete shit over an online game.

    Would it kill gaming companies to at least acknowledge that some people have an addiction problem with games? It’s no different than gambling addictions. The warnings will happen. Gaming companies can do it themselves or the government can get involved. It’s coming. Nothing will stop it. Might as well beat the government to the punch.

    Imagine what would be worse the Republican congress regulating you or the newly elected Democratic congress with something to prove regulating you?

  • BugHunter

    The NFL and NBA have joined forces behind the scenes to pay Jack T. and others to come down on gaming. Their afraid they’ll lose all of their sponsorship monies to LAN parties. :)

  • http://ambernight.org Amber

    You just know the guy in the video is thinking “While all the other kids were out playing, I was stuck indoors taking piano and vocal lessons with an old lady that smelled like…old lady. I spent 6 years at Julliard, and waited tables for another 2. Now it’s my big break and to showcase my considerable talents, I get to say “boh boh boh” for 5 minutes. And then there’s the polka groupies…”

  • http://www.psychochild.org/ Psychochild

    D-One wrote:
    Might as well beat the government to the punch.

    The thing is, this won’t stop the government. Admitting what you’re saying there will only give them the ammunition powerup they need to fire faster at us. Bringing up video games is a quick way for a U.S. politician to score some quick points with the “family values” crowd that fears everything they don’t understand.

    The fact is that there are people that use any sort of media as an escape route. If it weren’t games it would be TV or books or celebrity tabloids. People that lose themselves to gaming are generally trying to avoid something, or filling a perceived void in their life. Ban games, and they’ll find something else.

    Is it unfortunate that this happens to people? Certainly. I wish everyone could live a full and fulfilled life. Do game makers have the moral responsibility to save people from themselves? No. No more than any other media, especially TV. The best thing for these people is to recognize they have a problem that transcends gaming, or to have someone close that cares about them and recognizes the problems.

    The only reason games get as much focus as they have is because they are the scary, new medium. The older generations don’t understand games like they have come to understand TV, movies, and the devil’s rock ‘n’ roll.

    In amusing irony, the Google ads at the bottom of this page are:
    Sex Addiction Books
    Gaming Laptops
    Sexual Addiction
    Licensed Gay Therapists

    So, sex addiction is obviously more important than gaming addiction! Damn those women, tempting us away from our games! (And a big WTF? for that last ad….)

    My thoughts,

  • Rich

    I love that video. The girl on the far right is a cutie.

  • Fragged

    D-One writes: We know about cat ass. We\’e2\’80\’99ve (I assume you, forgive the assumption) all seen the person who allowed their life to go to complete shit over an online game.

    You know, to some extent I have to wonder how much of this is caused by the game, and how much of this is just the game being used as an escape mechanism. That is, it isnt clear to me how many of these people would have ended up in the same situation, using another escpe mechanism, if not gaming. If someone isn’t happy with their life, they’re naturally going to look to find an outlet that lets them escape the reality of that situation, even if it is only temporary.

    Obviously, the example of other outlets is not a reason to inherently say something is good (similarly, I’m not about claim cocaine is not addictive based on the logic that cocaine addicts would probably be addicted to another substance, if cocaine didn’t exist or was unavailable.) However, someone wasting their life away while performing an activity is not a reason to inherently say the activity itself is bad/unhealthy/addictive.

  • http://lostranger.blogspot.com almagill

    Time we all started writing our ‘road to recovery’ books and make some money of the thin brained gonks while we can :)

    Addicted to games since… omg, before half of you were born