Next, Margaret Carlson Discovers Orcs Are In World of Warcraft

Posted on December 18, 2006 by Scott Jennings| 10 Comments

Joel Stein actually logs into Second Life and wanders outside the Green Zone.

I thought I’d want to have lots of sex. Meaningless, multipartnered, degrading sex. After all, if Second Life is a virtual community in which you can look however you want, do whatever you want and use the fake name you want, then I could make all my fantasies come true. And as I quickly learned, having sex is exactly what many of the people on the site spend their time doing. Occasionally, it seemed, with characters that look like giant fluffy squirrels\’e2\’80\rdblquote which is wonderful, because there is nothing like the warm flush of superiority you feel when discovering a fetish you don’t have.

Yes, this is the best (and most accurate) writeup of Second Life, ever. Make sure you’re not drinking a beverage when you get to the end.

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  • TPRJones

    I’ve never understood the fascination with sex in Second Life. I tried to take it seriously once, but it didn’t work – in under a minute I was laughing too hard to see the screen clearly.

    Sure, I like to wander around as a panda from time to time, but the idea of simulated sweaty panda/foxtaur sex just makes me giggle.

  • http://www.thenonentity.com/ Nonentity

    Wow, this is a surprisingly accurate description of Second Life. No matter what you’re doing in Second Life, within a few hours, you’re in the equivalent of a strip club. No joke.

  • Jessica Mulligan

    I’m glad I took your advice and moved the coffee cup away from the monitor.

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  • http://www.everquest2.com Scott Hartsman

    ….

    Much like Jess, I thank you for the warning.

    You know, my grandfather read Time magazine religiously for as far back as I can remember.

    I miss him, sure, but damn am I glad I don’t have to try to figure out a way to explain this one to him…

  • http://www.theworldtakes.com damijin

    Greatest article ever.

  • http://www.damnedvulpine.com J.
  • John Arras

    I\’e2\’80\’99ve never understood the fascination with sex in Second Life. I tried to take it seriously once, but it didn\’e2\’80\’99t work.

    I think the point is that if people are given the ability to create, a large percentage of them will create porn. That IMO is probably one of the more interesting observations of 2L: People will make porn if given the chance. Perhaps someone could go and get a PhD by studying that.

  • TPRJones

    Hmmmm … maybe all the dark matter in the usiverse is alien porn?