No, But He Is Full Of Fruity Goodness

Posted on April 26, 2007 by Scott Jennings| 15 Comments

Wired News has word that Jack Thompson has decided to sue Gawker Media, owner of the constantly updating yet oddly content-free gaming news site Kotaku for, apparently, being on the Internet.

Yes, Thompson uses the phrase “Not!” in his court filings, along with such bon mots as “slim to none, and Slim just left town” and “human piñata” in reference to himself. I am reasonably sure that Thompson is not filled with candy.

Kotaku also has news on their being sued, but sadly it is lacking in speculation on whether or not Jack Thompson is in fact filled with candy.

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  • Halibut Barn

    He is, but if you broke him open you’d find only the bitter disappointment of Circus Peanuts.

  • http://ambernight.org Amber

    He’s filled with black jelly beans. And those horrible mints you get at some Mexican restaurants that are melded with something that wants to be chocolate but is not. Oh, and those chalky mints your great aunt keeps on her coffee table.

    And yet I’d still take a bat to him…

  • xaldin

    Hey don’t disrespect the black jelly beans! Those are my favorites.

  • TPRJones

    I still like the irony that the heart of this complaint is that Gawker – through failure to remove the comments of their readers advocating his demise – is using extortion to keep him from exercising his right to free speach, which he himself is doing by using the threat of legal action as extortion against removing the comments and thus silencing his detractors. Hypocracy, thy name is Jack.

    If he were to be randomly slain I for one would not weep.

  • http://ve3d.ign.com/ Apache

    He settled with Take Two, and isn’t allowed to mess with GTA any more. Jack is trying to fill the empty void.

  • ajeba

    Here he comes, Here come Jack Thompson, He’s a demon on wheels.

  • http://www.beafraid.com Hellfire

    This fucker needs a new hobby.

    Has anyone bothered to introduce him to internet pornography?

  • Angstrom

    Yeah, really. How he managed to hit Kotaku, but not the *other* Gawker sites (eg., Fleshbot) is beyond me.

    Also, Kotaku charged with conspiracy? With STATE JUSTICES?

  • Aufero

    The complaint is a hilarious read, but when you start out by suing the state bar that licensed you to practice and then decide include all your state supreme court justices, adding a gaming news website to the same filing seems like a bit of an afterthought.

  • xzzy

    The Kotaku filing has already been dismissed. The judge that did it claimed Jack didn’t follow proper procedures for making a complaint.

    It would seem they forgot to take Jack into account when they decided how fast the wheels of justice turn.

  • http://www.adelecaelia.blogspot.com Adele

    OMG… what a moron.

  • http://www.beafraid.com Hellfire

    Question 1: Viva Pinata for the PC?
    Question 2: Jack Thompson mod for Viva Pinata for the PC?

    Discuss and implement as required. Thanks.

  • http://www.fangbear.com Fangbear

    At this point, I almost feel sorry for Jack.. but not for the same reasons he feels sorry for himself.

    He is a sad sad dude.

  • TPRJones

    “Discuss and implement as required.”

    I’d settle for a nice flash game. I wonder how quickly the cease and desist order would come on that?

  • http://www.beafraid.com Hellfire

    That was a typo.

    It was supposed to read: Make this happen, now, Mr. Jennings.

    I know you’re working on an MMOPG (Massively Multiplayer Online Pinata Game) down there in the fiery bowels of doom.

    Either that or help me get my “Lives Aquatica of Team Zissou” MMO off the ground.