KNEEL.

Posted on August 3, 2007 by Scott Jennings| 14 Comments

It all led up to this.

When I first came to your planet and demanded your homes, property and very lives, I didn’t know you were already doing so, willingly, with your own government. I can win no tribute from a bankrupted nation populated by feeble flag-waving plebians. In 2008 I shall restore your dignity and make you servants worthy of my rule. This new government shall become a tool of my oppression. Instead of hidden agendas and waffling policies, I offer you direct candor and brutal certainty. I only ask for your tribute, your lives, and your vote.

— General Zod
Your Future President and Eternal Ruler

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  • xaldin

    You have to admit that the honesty in his purpose is refreshing.

  • http://www.killtenrats.com Cyndre

    Sadly, he is quite a bit better than the mahjority of our current options for 2008.

  • http://thesongoftheday.com chabuhi

    I just don’t know … what’s his stance on stem-cell research?

  • http://www.beafraid.com Hellfire

    Zod doesn’t need to research stem cells. The weak will be culled and the strong shall survive.

  • Axecleaver

    He has a compelling message. I’d vote for him.

  • Davian

    So if Zod is running as a Republican, does that mean Voldemort will be his opposition from the Democrats?

  • http://www.beafraid.com Hellfire

    Voldemort is a well-known Republican, so a primary run-off… well duel or something?

    I’m honestly not sure how I feel about engaging in a “who would win in a fight between Zod and Voldemort” discussion on the internet though. YMMV.

  • Soulflame

    As should surprise no one, the Zod vs Voldemort question has already been argued.

  • TPRJones

    “So if Zod is running as a Republican…”

    I couldn’t find where that was stated. Reading his platform he’s clearly a Democrat, I would think. I’d still vote for him anyway, though.

  • Amaranthar

    If Zod pickes Chaney as a running mate, I expect to see the field thin out rather quickly.

  • http://www.beafraid.com Hellfire

    The Vatican has already declared Harry Potter “harmless”, I expect Voldemort and Pope Palpatine to be running mates.

    The Zod/Cheney ticket will be hard-pressed to match that combo.

  • Amaranthar

    You underestimate Cheney. You must be a Democrat.

  • http://mythicalblog.com/ Jeff Freeman

    Cheney/Zod would make more sense to me. Cheney has more experience.

    But I’m still a President Killer Robot man, myself.

  • yunk

    Phooey, Walken can kick his butt:

    http://www.walken2008.com/