HEY, HERE’S AN IDEA – SOME ACTUAL NEWS [Author: lum]

But not in this site. Check out the Great Bob – tonight in addition to Kafkaesque doodlings, he’s got some words from Damion Schubert, UO2’s lead designer.

Amongst those words are that we aren’t to expect much actual news in the near future. So I guess we news sites are still reduced to bitchslapping each other about logos.

Feeding frenzy – an ugly thing to witness.

GODDAMIT, I AM A SERIOUS SITE AND YOU WILL PAY ATTENTION TO ME NOW! REALLY! WAIT! COME BACK! [Author: lum]

Well, Dr. “No one scoops us! NO ONE! You hear me? NO OOOOOOOONNNNNEEEEEE!” TwisTer opened up a new UO2 site; with a promise to make a fresh start and “not fight against OSI regarding a game that hasn’t been released yet”, along with a few muttered imprecations like these:

Several of you waited hours to see the official word, however as many of the visitors to my site noticed, there was really nothing new announced that we already didn’t know about.

There are several more items that I have covered over the course of the past 8 months concerning UO2, yet I continued to get slammed for publishing false rumors. They all came true.

So basically, Twister wants Origin to treat him like a real, legitimate web site. You know, interviews, press release, access to developers, the works.

Of course, maybe if he wants that, he should tell his wacked out minions to quit posting brain-damaged ways to dupe by creating as much server lag as possible. It’s a fair guess that Origin is not amused by sites that explain how to fuck up the shards. Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t think that’s the way to impress folks.

He also posted a possible UO2 logo as a “l33t exclusive”. Looks nice, but I’m reminded from a quote by Gordon the Tyrant that I didn’t include in the interview:

Lum: By the way, can you guys shoot me a copy of the logo before I post the interview? Doesn’t have to be print quality or anything, just something for a web graphic.

Gordon: We don’t have a logo for UO2 yet. Sorry.

Would Tyrant lie to me? Whom should I believe, Tyrant or Twister? Oh, the conflict.

(btw I had some work related things pop up this weekend that prevented me from doing much site work… expect The Naming Of The Winners and The Long Awaited Articles tomorrow.)

ON TAP FOR TODAY… [Author: lum]

  • Winners of the Make Samwise Popular Dammit contest announced
  • New and improved links section
  • The long missing final chapter of Broken Mirrors
  • And… you’re gonna love this one… Lum’s Official Guide To UO Cybersex (posted to help out the UO2 Dev Team build a better, um, mousetrap)

ARISE, UPDATERS OF DRTWISTER.COM… YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE BUT YOUR MUSHROOMS [Author: lum]

Trouble in Tornado Alley? Check out these posts from our rapidly the-place-to-be message board:

Hey i’m a reasonably important figure in drtwister, and I personally think that aperson is a total dolt.. In fact I hate all the stupid updaters.. However drtwister is tired of updating all the time when all everyone does is bitch, so quit yer fuckin whining..

soy

Dissent? You have no idea…

Aperson

PS Soy, who the fuck are you, and what do you do for DrT?

In related news, the updaters for lum.xrgaming.net also started bitching at each other on other sites’s message boards, until they realized they were, in fact, all the same person, at which time they calmly went back home and waited for the UO2 Interactive p0rn Demo.

Dr. TwisTer was unavailable for comment, having moved on to Everquest.

FAILING REAL NEWS, GAMING WRITERS TURN TO PSYCHOTROPICS [Author: lum]

That’s really the only possible explanation for this article. Nothing actually new here, but, um, they seem to have some issues.

The new 3D engine will enable gamers to have full camera rotation and zoom. It will also make the world seem a lot more alive than watching your 2D character run around the landscape. Most importantly, female characters just don’t look as good in 2D, and that fact weighs heavily on the minds of the average gamer.

Another somewhat respectable gaming mag reported that under consideration is – hold on to your anatomy, boys and girls – graphic sex. Yes, Sorsha the Amazing Cyberwhore will have all new ways to cadge gold pieces beyond those tired bowing macros! Reportedly to appear in the next Computer Gaming World, dated November 1999, is the following blurb…

From the file labled “B” for bizarre, rumor is that Origin is working on UO2, which will use the Ascension engine. (Bzzt. Wrong answer. – Lum) Here’s the bizarre part: EA has recently increased the parental control of their on-line products, possibly so that UO2 will be able to feature consensual sex. The developers are rumored to be kicking around ideas about how to animate characters making “the beast with two backs.” If implemented: Both parties will agree to the act and then go into a private room to exercise their, um, imaginations.

…hold me.

YOU CAN STILL WIN, DAMMIT! [Author: lum]

Just a reminder: THE CONTEST IS STILL ON. YOU can win stuff. Yes, Australians can win, even though according to OSI they do not technically exist. Hell, even updaters for drtwister.com can win! (Although I probably would have to disqualify the main Twister, since he’d have to give me his mailing address and stuff, and he’s too l33t for that.)

Yes, there really is a cheesy game sitting on my desk that I will send to one possibly lucky person. But that’s not all! I’ve heard that Durga actually wants me to compile a list of lucky dating winners, so YOU CAN GET LUCKY with someone who is technically female! You heard it here first! PLUS, I’ve heard that when Calandryll heard about his prize, HE ROLLED HIS EYES AND GROANED! We’re not sure what that means, but we are encouraged!

So enter early… enter often… just ENTER, dammit. You only have 24 hours to win ALL THE MARBLES IN THE WORLD (or failing that, a cheesy game and/or other possibly fictional prizes).

To re-iterate:

We only have 24 hours left to push Scott “Stop Calling Me Samwise Goddamit” Kurtz’s “PvP” comic strip to #1 in the Popularity Poll. This calls for extreme measures.

This calls for bribery.

So, in that spirit of enough frenetic mercantilism to make a Ferengi’s ears wiggle, we at LumCo are running a contest. All you need to do to win is vote HERE. Just click the damn link, it’s not rocket science. Then, send me an email filling in the blank below that you see when you successfully vote (not that I don’t TRUST you or anything…)

Thank you for your votes!
Your votes will be used for _________________________, usually published on Mondays.

You can vote as many times as you can think up weird-ass email addresses (for the love of God, DON’T use your real email, unless you actually like getting email telling you about NEW MARKETING OPPORTUNITIES!) and each vote you get puts you that much closer to winning our valuable prizes.

Did I mention prizes? Oh yes, we have prizes. Oh yes.

NONE OF THOSE UO2 GUYS HAVE COOL SIGS, SO THERE [Author: lum]

SunSword on the UO1 Dev Board about the announcement:

===

I have absolutely NO intention of letting UO decay. OSI is firmly commited to maintenance and development of the original Ultima Online.

In the next six months, we will be expanding this game significantly. I personally believe that UO has a lifespan that could exceed 10 years.

UO2 was created because OSI also believes there is room for more than one play-style in the persistent world universe. There’s room for both. Otherwise, you’re right, this would turn into an internal competition, but I think it will become very clear to players over the next few months that we “ain’t kiddin’ around” about UO.

We are expanding/improving the support, service, and gameplay and will continue to do so…

Sure there will be a lot of attention paid to UO2. It’s new and *different*. Just remember that…