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VERANT, TURBINE INK NEW PARTNERSHIP [Author: Lum the Mad]

Submitted for your approval, this press release:

In a news release that sent shock waves around the massively multiplayer world, Turbine Games and Sony Online Entertainment (SOE) today announced they would be conducting a trade for the words effect and affect, effective immediately.

SOE has been known to be shopping for a replacement for the word ‘affect’, used extensively in their popular online game, EverQuest, but has been stymied for months due to a dearth in available proper English from other online game companies. The problem has been particularly acute for players who attempt to dismiss spell icons with a right mouse click; for two years now EverQuest’s messaging system has been telling them ‘You cannot remove this affect’, effectively affecting the quality of the game so badly as to make the game writers appear ineffectual.

‘We knew we needed to correct this problem,’ stated Brad McQuaid, the
producer of EverQuest. ‘But until today, we were unaware that Turbine had a proper substitute on the trading block.’

Sony first became aware of the availabilty of the word ‘effect’ when a news release appeared on the XRGaming network’s Crossroads of Dereth boards, stating ‘In an effort to stop misconceptions and rumors before they begin: Yes, we let some employees go last week. The staff changes will not effect (sic) the development of Asheron’s Call or its sequel.’

Insiders state the trade will be a one-for-one word swap. The stock price of neither Microsoft nor Sony is expected to be affected when the change is effected, though both companies are expected to put on affectations to the contrary.