by

From the

From the New York Times: President Bush has formally changed the face of America’s primary enemy from Osama bin Laden, whereabouts unknown, to Saddam Hussein, an old nemesis who cheated both Mr. Bush’s father and President Clinton out of fulfillment of the terms of surrender that ended the 1991 Persian Gulf war.

I want to go back in time 40 years. To before I was born. To the world at the time of the Cuban missile crisis and brinksmanship in Southeast Asia and Timothy Leary discovering wack things in the chem lab. I want to talk to the people then, and tell them that it’s going to get better, that the world isn’t nearly insane enough to blow itself into a powdery mist, that eventually the nation will be riveted by youthful singers trilling out Burt Bacharach melodies on television, and that the nation will go from facing down total annihilation (because dude, it’s so easily modded) to the New York FREAKING TIMES announcing that THE FACE OF OUR ENEMY HAS FORMALLY CHANGED, AS OF THIS MORNING. You may now reprint your wanted posters, your Eat This, Osama! t-shirts… Oceania really is at war with Eastasia.

Dear god. Tell me I’m just on too much sinus medication or something, and the world isn’t really this surreal.

Oh, and I’ve been informed, yet again, that I have sold my soul. It’s on the Internet, so IT MUST BE TRUE! I guess that makes me a soulless zombie. BRAINS….