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THE PARTY OF THE FIRST PART (KNOWN AS “US, DUDE”) THINKS THE PARTY OF THE SECOND PART (KNOWN AS “LAMERZ”) INHALES OXYGEN RAPIDLY

Unreal Tournament 2004, in addition to ONS-RedPlanet and AS-Mothership, brings us probably the best EULA you never read.

CHEATING. Nobody likes a cheater. It’s a disgraceful way to earn a win and really is an insult to those players who earn their wins in on-line games the old-fashioned way\’e2\’80\rdblquote WITH TALENT. We’re pretty hard on cheating in on-line games using the Software because it sullies the overall gaming experience and is JUST PLAIN LAME. With that in mind if you are caught cheating in an on-line game using the Software we will immediately and permanently ban your CD Key. At that point this License Agreement is automatically terminated and you must immediately delete this software from your PC. Failure to comply with this last bit (deleting the software) may bring on the wrath of the lawyers. Trust us\’e2\’80\’a6you don’t want that.

It’s online here in case you are one of the six people who have not yet bought UT2K4. According to this Q23 thread, they’ve already banned one person. 3 million to go!