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HEY BEBBE, NICE POLYS

Anyuzer describes the most important part of any E3 – the booth babes!

The reality is this. Booth babes are exceptionally annoying and I wish they weren\’e2\’80\’99t at E3. Half of the media attention is centered around them and not the games. While on one hand that\’e2\’80\’99s fine, on the other hand these women are hired to stand there in skimpy outfits and have greasy hands pawing them all day. Most of them know nothing about video games, and they are basically there to exploit nerds.

A dirty little secret: A good portion of booth babes are actually strippers in their day jobs. (Hey, LA modeling agencies, they don’t ask questions, y’know?) So, sadly, they’re not that unfamiliar with the oversexed undersocialized pawing and mewling thing. This year had a bonus – thanks to the HIV shutdown, the common rumor was that there were quite a few out of work porn starlets working the E3 floor. Sadly, all the tales of “Jesus, I saw you in Spewing Sputum 2: Electronic Boogaloo!” are all apocryphal, since very few people I hang out with actually would to admit to obsessively knowing porn starlets on immediate glance.

However, I’ll trump Anyuzer. Booth babes aren’t annoying. They’re insulting. They imply that I am an oversexed male who cannot control his hormones, and am easily attracted by a bounce here and a giggle there and will thus pay more attention to a display with a spooling demo reel and a hot ANSI ch1ck13 than, say, one with an actual game on display being demoed by a distinctly not very hot developer.

I avoid boothbabes. For the same reason I avoid strippers. I’m not in the market for aggressively depersonalized meat, thanks. I just wanna look at the games. And if I DO want aggressively depersonalized meat, there’s much better venues than the sensory overload that is E3. But the implication that I am a rampaging stripped wire of hormones who can be easily turned by a comely glance is just insulting. And I do not appreciate being insulted.

Yes, I have no sense of humor about these things. And I’m sure there will always be out of work strippers and aspiring soap opera starlets willing to ignore your lack of hygiene and wandering paw when getting your picture taken to show off for your incredibly impressed friends back home. K THX BYE~~.