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ALSO, DICK CHENEY IS LUKE SKYWALKER’S FATHER

In one of those things too strange to actually be false, J. points us to where the Florida Department of Corrections has taken as its mission statement that of the Guardian. (The prison’s version is at the bottom of the page.)

Yes. THAT Guardian. I guess if our corrections system is patterning itself after video game villains, they could have picked worse. Like Dr. Wily or something.