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You need help. Yes, you.

I’m not sure what’s more disturbing:

1) That Holland now has a detox center for online gamers, or

2) That three of you sent this to me this morning. CRY FOR HELP, PEOPLE!

“We have kids who don’t know how to communicate with people face-to-face because they’ve spent the last three years talking to somebody in Korea through a computer,” Bakker said. “Their social network has completely disappeared.”

It can start with a Game Boy, perhaps given by parents hoping to keep their children occupied but away from the television. From there, it can progress to multilevel games that aren’t made to be won.

Come on, there are co-eds in Washington that are pining away, because we are all fixated on upgrading our pants. Clearly, this is a battle that MUST BE WON. I recommend starting with alcohol.