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WH40K: You Didn't Really Want To Be A Space Marine

See? See? I'm the 47th Tyranid from the left. That's me, baby.

The new Warhammer 40K MMO from Vigil and THQ hasn’t seen a lot of discussion. Well, in time honored fashion of science fiction MMOs developed in Austin, some of the beans were spilled by a company executive in an interview.

They were not very good beans.

It has a lot of the same qualities of WOW in terms of ease of use and how the interface is. I want to say that if you play WOW, you’ll be able to jump into Dark Millennium Online really easy.

But you won’t be able to be a Space Marine right away, because that’s a very unique class, if you know the universe. The road there is a great road, and they are in the game.

*blinks*

*blinks again, slowly*

NO YOU STUPID GIT, YOU DO NOT RELEASE A GAME AND CALL IT WARHAMMER 40000 AND NOT LET YOUR PLAYER BE A SPACE MARINE! DO YOU MAKE A MODERN WARFARE GAME AND TELL PEOPLE THEY CAN’T SHOOT A GUN? NO, YOU DO NOT. DO YOU MAKE A STAR WARS GAME AND TELL PEOPLE THEY CAN’T PLAY A JEDI? NO, YOU DO NOT. FOR GOD’S SAKE PEOPLE, LOOK ONE STORY DOWN. STOP WASTING MONEY ON ARTSY-FARTSY DESIGN-IS-LAW BULLSHIT AND LET PEOPLE BE A GODDAMN SPACE MARINE THE SECOND THEY INSTALL THE GAME… NO, LET THEM BE A GODDAMN SPACE MARINE WHILE THEY INSTALL! I WANT TO BE WAVING A GODDAMN CHAINSWORD WHILE FILES ARE COPIED TO MY COMPUTER! BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT WARHAMMER 40K IS, YOU STUPID CLUELESS CORPORATE GIT, NOT A FUCKING SURVEY ON HOW MUCH BETTER YOU CAN CLONE THE WOW UI THAN EVERY OTHER GAME THAT CLONES THE WOW UI. IF YOU DO NOT LET ME JOIN THE ULTRAMARINES WITHIN TWENTY FIVE SECONDS OF INSTALLING YOUR STUPID GAME THAT SAYS, AND I QUOTE, WARHAMMER 40K ON THE BOX, I WILL TURN YOU OVER TO THE ECCLESIARCHY FOR A MINDWIPE. FOR GOD’S SAKE WHY DON’T YOU JUST SAY YOU ARE ONLY LAUNCHING WITH THE IMPERIAL GUARD AND THE KROOT AND EVERYTHING ELSE IS A GODDAMN CASH SHOP ADDON TO BE PATCHED IN LATER I HATE YOU ALL GWWAAAAARRRRRGGHHHHHHH

OK, I feel better now. How about you?


Regretfully necessary edit:

Note to all the people being blind-linked here. The rest of you can ignore this!

Hi. My name’s Scott. Welcome to my blog.

– I was being funny.
– I work in the MMO industry. Most of my blog entries relate to MMO business decisions and the pros/cons thereof.
– I do not actually own a single Warhammer miniature.
– I specifically was parodying a “nerd rage” rant.
– More specifically, I was pointing out that making “spehs mahreen” or whatever other cute slang term you use for that iconic image of Warhammer 40K not something you can immediately play will be about as popular with the non-fanatic community (i.e. NOT YOU) as making a Star Wars MMO where you have to unlock the ability to be a Jedi.
– I actually have a number of friends who work on WH40K at Vigil, all of whom IMed me 5 minutes after this went up to laugh about it. It was a JOKE. I really don’t want to be THE IMMORTAL GOD EMPEROR in an MMO.
– I did, actually, nerf your 47th level Holy Asperger’s Paladin Of Elven Light. U mad?