by

A Brief Primer On Geopolitics For Concerned Moviemakers

Successful leaders of totalitarian states wear good suits.

MGM has decided at the last minute that making a movie called “Red Dawn”  about China totally invading the US to death (instead of, you know, merely foreclosing) might not be a good idea if they were to have a successful release in a very important market!

Thus, the movie’s producers have made the extremely practical decision to turn every Chinese person in “Red Dawn” into a North Korean. No. I’m really not making this up at all.

The changes reportedly cost less than $1 million and involve changing an opening sequence summarizing the story’s fictional backdrop, re-editing two scenes and using digital technology to transform many Chinese symbols to Korean.

Apparently, someone really does believe that China and North Korea are just sort of interchangeable parts. I really can’t go into further detail without my head literally exploding in a cloud of racist American idiot-goo.

In the spirit of my previous helpful advice to Sarah Palin about where Russia actually is, and to hopefully educate the producers of “Red Dawn: ChineseKorean Boogaloo” and keep their heads from exploding into racist American idiot-goo as they rub Korean all over the China, here is a typical street scene in Pyongyang, North Korea:

And here is a typical street scene in Shanghai, China:

Here is a picture of  Shanghai at night:

And here is a picture of Pyongyang after dark:

Hopefully this will help you out with that whole switching-out-Chinese-ideograms-for-Korean-hangul thing. If you need to ask more, you could always consult John Milius, the original writer of Red Dawn, who insisted that the thought of China actually invading America was beyond the bounds of realism. Milius’ most recent writing credit is on Homefront, a game about a very realistic North Korean invasion of America.