Category Archives: Geek

So, because I suffer from congenital brain damage, I got it in my head to replay Baldur’s Gate 2 with whatever the prolific mod community has come up with. This is how to do this while saving yourself the hours of frustration and re-installing BG2 over and over. No, really, follow these instructions TO THE LETTER or you will suffer. Oh yes. You will suffer.

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I recently got an email offering $100 to post a guild ad. Unfortunately my price is somewhat higher (note to gold farmers: $100,000 gets you a long, emotional post about how your company is the only ethical choice in responding to poorly designed diku derivative time sink systems! US currency only, please) but you can follow up this post by posting links to your own guild. I mean, other more successful sites have a history of somewhat successful collections of like minded indivuduals coming together to, well, crack jokes in /gu.

Or you can just mock a PvP guild recruiting on a design blog. Your choice, really. At brokentoys.org, we’re all about value.
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The US Army’s new slogan is:

ARMY STRONG.\’c2\~

I’m not kidding. See, this is why we’re the bestest country ever. Watch out, you countries that think you’re so smart with your superior command of the English language – since the Soviet Bloc collapsed we totally pwn in steroid usage.

OK, so the Southpark World of Warcraft advertisementparody is actually a pretty decent satire of MMORPGs. If you haven’t seen it, it’s probably going to be uploaded to Google Video and YouTube at 5 minute intervals for the rest of the week.

“Are you French, Clyde? Mmmm?”

Edit: apparently, the machinima liberally used throughout the episode was done by these guys.\’c2\~

As everyone in the Internet has already told you, those wacky South Park kids will do their best to trigger World of Warcraft’s obscenity filters tonight. AFK Gamer has the best description:

Expect your guildchat to feature line-by-line dialogue recaps because what could be more fun than watching television with your game buddies and then seeing the same lines repeated in guildchat just in case you suddenly became hard of hearing.

Penny Arcade’s Tycho quoting a new venture into the online comics space:

“We want to make a statement that it is safe to do this, that people can do this.”

Good, because as it stands only rabid weasels are reaping the benefits of digital distribution – it’s about time human beings got into the game. It’s either a statement of profound naivete or profound hubris. Saying that you’re going to make the web a place for comics is like suggesting that you plan to colonize the Earth. If they want to break down the walls that keep artists from publishing online, well, I hope they brought a wall with them, because we don’t really have anything like that here. I suppose we could special order.

Notaddicted.com (aka the infamous “Flowers of Happiness” from the EQ and now WoW PVP servers) break down the various and sundry guild drama queens and kings you’ll run into in your online travails. I compiled a similar list for my “Dummies” book, but theirs is more complete and thus funnier.

Henny Penny. Nobody gives a weather report of how the sky is falling, like good old Henny Penny. “Nothing is the same anymore since (insert name of quitter here) left the guild. This place is going downhill. Fast. Chat sucks, the raids suck. Everything sucks. I tried to get a group and nobody answered me when I spammed guild chat looking for people to run me through that one instance. I give it two months.” They will log out shortly before the guild raid is about to start so that they can document this prediction into their Myspace.

The Serial E-Dater.Serial E-Dater often budgets the cost of making trips to hook up with Sex-Talk and other guild mates within their sexual orientation, but is repeatedly disappointed when their e-love turns out to be nothing like the hot elf that they pretended to be online. The Serial E-Dater makes vapidly agreeable responses to every statement made by the person of his or her affections. They will jump to that person\’e2\’80\’99s defense no matter how idiotic the person acts. This is due to Serial E-Dater\’e2\’80\’99s brain matter shifting to their frontal nether region immediately after logging in. That is, unless more than one of Serial E-Dater\’e2\’80\’99s objects of interest are disagreeing with each other. At this point, The Serial E-Dater impersonates an ostrich. If your server played \’e2\’80\’9cSix Degrees Of (Serial E-Daters Name)\’e2\’80\’9d the results could be catastrophic.

Yeah, I know pretty much all of those people, as do you.

CERN is threatening to open a gateway to another dimension.

If they do, *I’m* not killing the giant alien fetus, because jumping puzzles in RL suck.

From the nascent WoW ranter community: Your Paladin Sucks!

Time to get your K-Pop on.

Left column – space bar. Right column – arrow keys. Six stages. CAN YOU SURVIVE.

(Yes, I’m entirely too obsessed with Yogurting.)