Category Archives: Stupidity

Why Wikipedia Doesn’t Work

…because if you go just by Wikipedia, Lyndon LaRouche is a serious politician.

No, You Should Not Ask Your Guild Leader, Either

Just when you thought the continuing crisis in Washington was being spearheaded by random people named Scott Jennings, things get even weirder:

MacDonald confirmed that she also sent the Delta Smelt document [the Delta smelt fish is an endangered species] to an on-line game friend through his father’s e-mail account. MacDonald said she is acquainted with the on-line friend through internet role-playing games. She said she engages in these games to relieve the stress created by her job; however, she said she has not played while at work. When asked why she would e-mail an internal [Department of Interior] document to a private citizen, MacDonald replied, “I was irritated [with what was happening regarding the subject of the document] and tried to explain my irritation over the phone; however, I sent it to him to read for a better understanding.”

Hint: when someone is too young to have their own email account, you may not want to entrust them with reviewing your secret documents. No matter how kickass a healer they are in groups.

Kotaku Banz0red By Sony

Clearly, the demand for PS3 news is as unprecedented as demand for the PS3.

Apocalypse Then

As found on a SomethingAwful.com forum thread, and courtesy of YouTube, this is in its entirety, “The War Game”.

The War Game” is a British mock documentary from 1965 that was never shown on television at the time because it was deemed too horrifying. It describes in loving detail the impact of a nuclear strike on a completely unprepared UK. Since it wasn’t aired until 20 years after its filming, it’s somewhat hard to find, so I suspect for most of you this will be the first time you’ve seen it. More modern films that have followed such as The Day After, Testament, Threads and the recent Children of Men all borrow liberally from this movie, though The War Game is far more intense than any of these. For those of us that grew up in the 70s and 80s, this was our future.

Below the cut, the hour-long “The War Game”, in five parts. You may want to see something lighthearted afterwards. I recommend Shrek.

Continue reading

The Internet Is, Actually, For Porn (And Drugs, And Ponzi Schemes)

Well, my blog certainly is running slowly this morning! Hm, let’s log into the shell and see what’s up.

gaaaah.png

Note for those who don’t speak Unix: those numbers are load averages. And should be less than 1.

Hmm. Why is the server so overloaded? Maybe my email holds a clue.

goddamnspammers.png
Yes, I think we’ve got the answer. Will the last actual human reading this blog please turn out the lights. Thank you.

See, when I fixed it so you folks on IE7 could see the comments easily? Guess who else it fixed things for.

I did some behind the scenes trickery to try to fix. That’s why some of you got 404′s just now when trying to leave comments. Initial results aren’t good, so you may see those irritating “type this number to continue” things pop up, assuming they haven’t already been hax0red by the spambot makers.
Oh, and I hate people.

How To Win Friends And Influence People

What you miss if you’re not in a raiding guild

Note To Mr. Nerfbat

When you say “stop cloning World of Warcraft”, I think this is what you meant.

(Link spotted on F13)

Second Life As Popular As World Of Warcraft, Except For The Number Of People

Matt Mihaly gets credit for finding it, I’m just going to point and laugh.

“World of Warcraft touts a six million or larger active user base – but they shard their world off into smaller servers so you never see 16,000 people in the same place”, said Mr Miller.

“That’s unlike Second Life, where tonight you will see 16,000 people enjoying exactly the same world all able to communicate with each other, all attending the same live music event should they wish to.”

Bear in mind the quoted is Linden Labs’ VP of Technology. So he’s not being clueless – he’s lying through his teeth. SL’s capacity for events is around 75, or less since avatars that are, um, “fully functional” tend to stress out the server with their twiddly scripts. I discussed this earlier with the Mark Warner visit. Wagner James Au, Second Life’s unofficially official ambassador of fun, popped in the comments of that thread to say that the technical limit is around 100, or 200 if you cluster servers.

Note that all of these numbers are considerably less than 16,000. And even if you go with the 100 estimate, that is by far the lowest social capacity of ANY MMO ever released. Most MMOs tend to melt at around a few hundred users in the same space. World of Warcraft usually sees around a hundred or so in each of its main cities at peak hours.

Or maybe he’s just talking about single servers vs world shards. Most world shards cap out at 5,000 or so simultaneous connections (sometimes more depending on demand)… but that’s more to design considerations than hardware for most games. You don’t WANT 8,000 people in Ironforge, do you? And of course, Eve Online just posted 32,000 concurrent users. Which is, for those of you weak at math like Linden’s VP of Technology, roughly double Second Life’s concurrency. Clearly this means Eve Online is MORE popular than World of Warcraft. Told you they were hardcore.

That’s not to say that SL doesn’t do cool things. It does. And it’s a good start at where social MMOs should go. But given the amount of media love and concurrent scrutiny, slapping the market leader with your SL marketplace-purchased “attachment” should only be done if, you know, you can back your attachment up. With, you know. Facts.

(Of course the BBC took his statements credulously. Research is hard.)

Edit: You think I’m mad? Check out A Clockwork Mind, who makes my backlash look positively cooing:

I want to stop seeing stories about Second Life.\’c2\~ I want reputable journalists to stop making themselves look like brown-nosing paid spokesmen for something which is frankly a waste of everyone’s time except those who like to masturbate at the keyboard while looking at furries and little kids.

One day, Jack Thompson and the public at large are going to find about Second Life and when they do, every online environment is going to be in deep, deep trouble because of what Second Life has allowed, no, encouraged, to go on in their systems.

Second Life Must Die.

Told You I Was Gnomecore

Be careful what you tell Blizzard CS.

(As seen on n3rfed, which updates seasonally whether you’re ready or not.)

OMGZ NET NEUTERALITY WILL KILL US ALL!!1!

I’m personally pretty indifferent about net neutrality — while I think ISPs who try to blackmail service providers for QoS packet preferences are fairly scummy (and having worked for an ISP 10 years ago, I’m still well aware of their capability for scumminess), I also don’t believe that the Internet was brought to us by pixel fairies and needs no income beyond the milk of loving social kindness.

So I was pretty amused by this latest article going around: ISPs want to kill MMOs. It’s amusing because it ignores, you know, facts.

If written correctly, MMOs are actually among the best behaved of network applications around. Ideally, MMOs will run well on 3k/sec of bandwidth – low enough to be playable on a dial-up connection, and low enough to keep the network costs for the MMO providers down. Of course, it’s pretty easy to spike that higher – say, during any event where large amounts of people gather, bombing the user’s client with requests – but there isn’t a dedicated need for a broadband-level connection. Unless, say, you’re Second Life and are constantly streaming music streams of Suzanne Vega and texture maps of pixelated strippers every time you enter a new building. But that, like Second Life in general, is the exception. Again – bandwidth requirements are a cost of doing business for an MMO provider, and it’s in their direct financial interest to keep those as tiny as possible. Keeping MMOs playable for the folks still on dialup is just a bonus. This is the sort of traffic ISPs love. As opposed to BitTorrent downloads of multi-gigabyte movie files, which is the actual target of ISP traffic shaping.

Of course, this would require research, something we probably shouldn’t expect from, er, a market research consulting group. No, instead, the article goes on to describe the horrible life of mobile gaming vendors (which doesn’t jive with what I’ve read for years) and then, as proof that this is the dark future we can expect from a non-regulated Internet – World of Warcraft and Second Life have never appeared on a mobile phone. Yeah. Damn you, ISPs, for blocking Blizzard from sticking Naxxramas raids on my cell phone. Issues like interface form factor, hardware requirements, and what would actually be fun to play on a cell phone? Irrelevancy! It’s all the fault of those evil capitalists.

But truly, truly the shining jewel in this wonderous story: the paper’s suggestions for what MMO providers should do about this oncoming dystopia, and what they say about the writer’s actual opinions regarding the market s/he never bothered to do actual research on. I’ll just reproduce them without comment.

Flexing some muscle as both big spenders and influences on the user is the optimal path for guarding the status quo. Given that operators of online games have spent millions on network infrastructure and hosting contracts, directing the spending to ISPs that commit to keep their network neutral can be extremely powerful. From a consumer perspective, gaming companies have on occasion succeeded in forcing regional European monopolies to build better peering networks because they directed users to complain to the ISP about slow performance.

It may be difficult to invigorate the entire horde of gamers to engage in direct political action (to paraphrase South Park , \’e2\’80\’9chow can you mobilize that which has no life?\’e2\’80\’9d). But game developers have many carrots to dangle in front of an unmotivated user \’e2\’80\ldblquote from virtual gold to \’c3\’bcber equipment — and creativity is their strong point, so perhaps some incentive can walk the fine line between mobilization and buying petition signatures.

In short, I love reading papers like this, because it makes me feel hope that someday, I too will be given a platform to blather about things I know nothing about. I hear the Internet is free.