by

NO RED FOR YOU

According to this news story, Robert Mugabe’s Zimbabwe has banned the color red from TV. It’s not explained how this is considered to be even possible.

Zimbabwe later furiously denied the story.

For those who don’t religiously follow tales of out-of-the-way dictatorships, Zimbabwe is in the process of starving its people to death. Meanwhile, Zimbabwe’s propaganda minister and former dissident (of the same government), Jonathan Moyo, is now a rock star. Robert Mugabe also thinks gays are responsible for all of Zimbabwe’s problems, as are the British, and has come to the conclusion that, well, they’re the same thing. Jonathan Moyo was recently proven by hair testing to be gay. No, I’m not sure how that works either. However, he’s also been accused of being a gay rant, which also is somewhat disturbing if unclear as to exactly what that is. Moyo, in response, called the US a bunch of hamburger-eating imperialists. Honestly, I’ve made none of this up.

More from Zimbabwe later, assuming it does not collapse into a black hole of improbability.