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My super power? Supercooled ennui.

Apparently the Scientologists are nearly ready to REVEAL THEIR FIENDISH PLANS!

On Friday I walked around Hollywood and went by this building:

The building itself looked like it was under heavy renovation, but outside some distinctly bored people were setting up “Free Stress Tests!” on folding card tables out front, using gewgaws that looked remarkably similar to props you’d see in movies from the 1950s that were supposed to be Space Radar consoles or something.

I just walked on past because frankly I’m all out of cult this week, but if I knew they were preparing to unleash SUPER POWERS? I’d be all over that. I could have used some City of Villains-esque power sets in LA traffic, lemme tell ya.