Acclaim: Being Black Is Awesome!

Proving that the MMO industry is far, far superior to aged shock jocks, Acclaim’s new DANCE! Online dancing-required microtransaction-driven MMO has decreed that being a black person on the dance floor is so totally awesome, you must earn the privilege. Or, as one somewhat surprised user asks,


to which a “player moderator” replied,

Black is an EXTRA feature. It makes your person look unique, so that is an EXTRA feature. Therefore, you having to PAY for it. (Or ask a friend to pay for it).

Thankfully, before Rev. Al Sharpton was made aware that MMOs exist, an actual Acclaim employee immediately chimed in with

As an optional character upgrade, we must put this in the item shop for players to acquire. This is the only way to offer the African-American heads. However, it should be EASILY accessible to all, so we made it just 1 POINT in the shop (which is basically for FREE). You don’t have to spend any money to get it, just play the game and earn points. Thanks!

DANCE! has multiple currencies, and the 1 point referred to can be earned by, apparently, not being black briefly.

Acclaim should be aware that there is in fact, no parking on the dance floor, as rival dancing-with-the-cyberbits MMO Audition has signed Hillary Duff for something or another.

Interestingly, both Audition and DANCE! strongly complain if you use Firefox instead of Internet Explorer. But if open source doesn’t free your mind, then what?