Because knowing is half the battle!
Chuck Norris would like you to know that he did not in fact father the 1972 Miami Dolphins.
However, Vin Diesel does still randomly select one lucky child to be thrown into the sun on his birthday.
Carry on.
Read next
Look Upon Thy Works, You
When I was a young punk I dyed my hair, sneered at everyone, and thought “Kill your parents” was an arch joke.
Now my generation dyes their hair (to hide the grey), sneers at the camera, and exhorts you to let your parents die for their stock options.
We have
Pretty Hearthstone Machine
you are
the perfect draw
the perfect draw
the perfect draw
The Stab In The Back
As entertainment a while back, I used to tell the story of World War One. It was great fun at parties. I’d get rolling during work lunches at bougie little lunch places, and half of the establishment would be staring balefully at our table around the time I cut