Current Terror Alert Code: RAGNAROS

Say you’re a guild leader in World of Warcraft. You have a girl in your guild. You talk a lot on Vent, one thing leads to another and what do you know, you’re on a plane to visit. These things happen.

When they happen, do NOT drop your iPod down the airplane toilet. Because you WILL, from there, inexorably fall down the rabbit hole…

They asked me why I was visiting Canada. I was to visit a friend I met on World of Warcraft, Cara. They took down her name and what I could remember of her address. They asked me how we met.

“In an online game.”
“What online game?”
“Umm … World of Warcraft,” I responded meekly.
“What kind of game is this?”
“It’s a fantasy game … it takes place online.”
“Fantasy … like it’s got wizards and warlocks?”
“Well, it’s got warlocks.” (And they need to be nerfed.)

They asked me to describe my relation to Cara. I told them that people meet up in the game and go on adventures together, and that Cara and I were in a guild together that I was the leader of. They confused the concept of a guild with the game, however, and I had them believing that I was the Lord and Leader of all of WoW until I was able to correct them, and explain to them what a guild was.

So, when they put the pieces together; namely, that I was visiting a female person that I had met over a computer game, their next line of questioning went down an obvious path.

“So you and Cara are friends?”
“Yes.”
“How long have you known her?”
“About 5 months I think? Maybe less.”
“Do you have a romantic relationship with Cara?”
“No.”
“Do you want a romantic relationship with Cara?”
“No.”
“OK, so … if you and Cara were drunk together, and she turned to you and said, ‘Tim, let’s go–‘”

I interrupted him. “Excuse me … what’s the point of these questions?” The detective hardened. “Let me make things clear. I ask questions. You answer them. Do we have an understanding?”

News coverage in the Canadian media here. An account from another passenger on the plane is here.