E3 Day 1: Staring Down The Chasm Of Death

So I pick up a couple of friends at E3 and ask where they want to go. “AWAY.” “Righto.” I drive west. I figure eventually I’ll run into an ocean. I am correct in this; specifically Pacific Coast Highway. It’s definitely very oceany. Yep, there’s the ocean. Whee! I vaguely remember a touristy-style pier from a prior visit to LA. (It turns out I was thinking of Venice Beach, which was well south of our position.) So we keep driving.

And we drive.

And we drive some more.

“OK, enough ocean. Look, a right turn! Let’s go.”

So we do.

Dear readers, California has mountains. Yes, this is news to me too. Who knew! What’s more, these mountains have roads leading up them. Without guard rails. Occaisonally, after mudslides, without two lanes.

I am sure at this point an ex-coworker may chime in about my (lack of) driving skills. Suffice to say I had a passenger literally GIBBERING.

Finally, an hour and a half later, we finally come down from the mountaintop, much like Moses.


“Hey, it’s flat here.”

“Look… smog… beautiful, wonderous smog…”

“You mean you guys are grateful to see LA?”


It was a brave new world. A post-cliff world. So we entered Bel Air in search of an IHOP.

Tune in tomorrow, when I actually get into E3, I promise.