(No, this has nothing to do with gaming. DEAL.)

Vladimir Zhirinovsky is worried. The Russian leader, whos previous claim to fame was in proposing that Russia construct huge fans and blow its radioactive waste into the Baltics, just to show them who was da MAN, now has bigger fish to fry. It seems Russians are having problems getting laid.

More to the point, so few Russians are getting horizontal lately that there’s a danger that Russia will start running out of Russians, and be forced to rely more on Chechens and Tatars and Jews and other decidedly not-Russian people. Since this is Russia and not, say, California, being a minority is BAD. So obviously there’s a need for more screwing around.

Thankfully, Russia has a man of action handy in this time of crisis, and Zhirinovsky has a plan. His plan – tell women to start making babies, dammit. As part of this master plan, abortion is to be criminalized, women are forbidden to leave the country, and special week-long holidays are to be created for women to join their men in the army and, um, make babies. And just in case there isn’t enough women to go around even after forbidding them to leave the Land of Love, Zhirinovsky helpfully suggests that polygamy be legalized.

Now why the hell isn’t our government doing stuff like this? I mean, come on. Surely Clinton thought about it.