Finally, A Real Benchmark of Quality

While watching SciFi network (or more accurately, while it’s on in the background…)

Me: “Are you watching porn?”
Her: “No.”
Me: “I’m pretty sure I haven’t seen acting that bad outside of porn.”

Edit: Just in case you’re not clear on the horror, Variety actually posted a review, which I’m pretty sure is the only reviewer to sit through the movie. Send him a beer.