Guild Drama Spill, Aisle Four (aka the infamous “Flowers of Happiness” from the EQ and now WoW PVP servers) break down the various and sundry guild drama queens and kings you’ll run into in your online travails. I compiled a similar list for my “Dummies” book, but theirs is more complete and thus funnier.

Henny Penny. Nobody gives a weather report of how the sky is falling, like good old Henny Penny. “Nothing is the same anymore since (insert name of quitter here) left the guild. This place is going downhill. Fast. Chat sucks, the raids suck. Everything sucks. I tried to get a group and nobody answered me when I spammed guild chat looking for people to run me through that one instance. I give it two months.” They will log out shortly before the guild raid is about to start so that they can document this prediction into their Myspace.

The Serial E-Dater.Serial E-Dater often budgets the cost of making trips to hook up with Sex-Talk and other guild mates within their sexual orientation, but is repeatedly disappointed when their e-love turns out to be nothing like the hot elf that they pretended to be online. The Serial E-Dater makes vapidly agreeable responses to every statement made by the person of his or her affections. They will jump to that person\’e2\’80\’99s defense no matter how idiotic the person acts. This is due to Serial E-Dater\’e2\’80\’99s brain matter shifting to their frontal nether region immediately after logging in. That is, unless more than one of Serial E-Dater\’e2\’80\’99s objects of interest are disagreeing with each other. At this point, The Serial E-Dater impersonates an ostrich. If your server played \’e2\’80\’9cSix Degrees Of (Serial E-Daters Name)\’e2\’80\’9d the results could be catastrophic.

Yeah, I know pretty much all of those people, as do you.