HIT AND RUN [Author: Lum the Mad]

It’s official: Ultima 9 makes baby Jesus cry. No doubt of great relief to OSI, Ultima 9 is now kid tested and Christian approved.

When my children are old enough, I plan on playing this game again with them and discussing the Avatar’s actions with respect to Christ and his followers — something the game designers probably never intended!

Especially when the Avatar starts hitting on Raven. I bet that’s a great point to explain the ethics of mature relationships. “Kids, BAD TOUCH.”

Fires of Heaven is Everquest’s baddest-ass guild. Don’t believe me? Ask them. They’ll tell you TWICE. In fact, their leader, Furor Planedefiler has transcended ub3rness.

Here we have the AC Ub4r Furor and in the next shot we have the HP Ub4r Furor. I am using a 4 instead of a 3 in my spelling of uber because I personally believe I have transcended the petty levels of uberness most people squabble over. I have decided that I am no longer ub3r but instead I am now ub4r. I hope to work my way to ub9r in the near future.

We’ve sent a collected copy of Hegel and Nietschze to Furor’s ub5r mail drop. We’ll let you know if he ever learns to spell “Nietschze.”

Years later, Murm finally got his goddamned catapult.

Over at planetCrap, there’s a good discussion of something that’s come up before: product placement in games. My favorite quote comes from Flamethrower:

My guess is Duke 4’s gameplay will consist entirely of SHOCK THE MONKEY.