I WANNA PLAY!

OK, I’ve been patient. I’ve been reasonable. I’ve even been …understanding.

But it’s been over a week now, and I’d like to play UO, please.

Ever since ***THE PATCH***, my connection to UO has been somewhere south of nowhere. Step… step… thirty seconds of lag, followed by “Connection Lost”. Needless to say, this makes it somewhat difficult to play. Especially when others are apparently unaffected by this lag. It’s almost funny, hanging around the Brit crossroads on Siege, watching everyone else’s position via stop-motion photography. Until, of course, I die.

I don’t know what causes this. I have ideas. Apparently part of the wonderous bundle of joy that we call ***THE PATCH*** has introduced more client-server traffic. Um, this is bad, mmmkay? I mean, at some point in coding all those wonderful UOAriffic features into the client, someone should have piped up and said “Uh, guys, not everyone is connected to the servers via a direct Ethernet connection.” 

What’s really peachy about ***THE PATCH*** is that it doesn’t affect everyone. Some folks, mostly on high speed connections, report no problems at all. Some folks report mild irritations and the occasional disconnect.

And some folks – like me – well, let’s just say I’m glad Final Fantasy 8 came out when it did, because otherwise I might have to read a book or go outside or something.

Others blame Globalcenter. Globalcenter is the UO tar baby… when someone’s house is broken into, 9 times out of 10 someone somewhere will blame Globalcenter. Apparently, to use common ISP insider parlance, “they suck, dude”. I don’t know if that’s the problem or not.

I don’t care. I just wanna play. I’ve been REALLY patient… but now I’m pissed. And I’m fighting back, in that special fruity-yet-masculine way that only I can.

That’s right. In a very special episode of net.terrorism, until I can play UO again, every day I will be posting snapshots from everyone’s favorite decade, the Eighties. If I can’t play UO, dammit, I’m going to make you remember the decade when I was able to get drunk and get laid on something approaching a regular basis.