J. D. Vance Is Wrong About Everything, Including Catholicism and War

"Have you said thank you once?"

So, I haven't been updating this blog, because everything has gone to hell. If you're curious about why the game industry has gone to hell, Georg Zoeller has broken it down succinctly and completely. Meanwhile, we decided to fight a war in Iran because someone (hint: it was Netanyahu) convinced our big droopy President that it would be easy and fun. The war was neither easy, nor fun.

And thanks to J. D. Vance, it might start again.

You see, J. D. Vance is – I'd say he was like a Sin Eater except I never read any Harry Potter books or watched any of the movies and Inanna help me if I'm going to correct that oversight now, but suffice to say he does not have a good track record at anything.

Met Pope Francis, who immediately died.
Gives a speech demanding NATO respect the US's insane claims to Greenland. NATO immediately deploys troops to Greenland to prevent a US bloodless takeover.
Gives a speech in Hungary begging Hungarian voters to support Viktor Orban as the last defender of Christian values in Europe. Hungarian voters vote Orban out in a massive landslide.
Led the US team in armistice talks with Iran. The talks collapsed in one day.

Mind you, the talks collapsed because the US negotiating position was "You should agree to all our terms because we, like, totally rocked your face." The Iranian negotiating position was "Uh, no. In fact, you lost, and here's what we will accept as the price for no longer beating you." Basically, Iran's position was this Onion article.

Year Zero was a difficult time for us all.

Iran brought a group of military and technical experts along with high ranking officials to signal that they meant to negotiate in earnest. The US brought JD Vance, the President's son-in-law, and the President's real estate buddy, the latter two of which he has delegated almost all Middle East policy to because, uh, they're Jewish. Yes, that's where we are. (And no, I'm not saying the Jeeeews secretly control our foreign policy, I'm saying our big wet President is a massive racist idiot who thinks someone is an expert on the Middle East because they had a bar mitzvah.) Surprising no one, the talks immediately collapsed, and Trump since has been alternately m * a * n * i * f * e * s * t * i * n * g victory, declaring a double-secret probation blockade of Iran, and getting in a slap fight with the Bishop of Rome, who did the incredibly surprising act of saying war was bad and maybe we should not do that. This made our sloppy derpy President very mad, because the world is all about him and that includes the Holy Roman Catholic and Apostolic Church.

After declaring Pope Leo WEAK ON CRIME (what, has there been a mugging epidemic in the Vatican we haven't been told about?) he then posted a picture of himself as Jesus.

yes this happened and you can't look away. i'm just disappointed jon mcnaughton didn't paint it. stupid ai taking people's jobs.

The next day, after even resolutely MAGA types like Rod Dreher said "dude, that's a pretty Antichrist thing to do" Trump pulled it and then told everyone he just posted it because he was a doctor in it. Absolutely no one understood what neuron in the brain of our large comatose President fired that little brainworm until someone connected the dots.

Anyway, what brings this back to JD Vance is that Vance is the leader of the Catholic Resurgence who seeks to do, uh, let's not talk about what they actually want to do. One thing about Catholic converts like Vance that people joke about is that they see themselves as more Catholic than the Pope. And, uh, Vance does.

Well, yes. Let's be careful, Mr. Vance. Let's be very careful about what we're talking about here. Because you're clearly invoking Just War theory as a justification for the Iran War. And here's the thing: that isn't just a synonym for the Pope going all Warhammer 40K like so many Catholic converts expect, if only so that they can get Battle Sister waifus issued by the Ecclesiarchy.

Just War theory actually exists. It's a thing. It's not a catch phrase you can just invoke - "Our war is Just War! No take backs!". It has rules. Rules which the Trump administration assisted by Israel, is in complete violation of.

Allow me to detail, won't you? Because these are facts. Facts don't care about your feelings, someone said once.

Just War theory contains two concepts: jus ad bellum – whether a war is justified in being declared, and jus in bello – whether the war is justified in how it is prosecuted. The Iran war breaks every single point of both of these. (with two possible exceptions, but the war's not over yet.)

Jus ad bellum: is this war just?

Competent Authority: a just war must be initiated by a political authority that allows distinctions of justice. In the American context, this means seeking authorization from Congress for prosecuting the war. The Trump Administration has refused to do this.
Probability of Success: a just war must have good grounds for concluding its aims are achievable. The Iran war does not meet this standard by any metric; the initial declared objective, forcing the regime to surrender and turn over power to protestors, has never been accomplished by air power ever in history.
Last Resort: a just war must exhaust all non-violent options before the use of force is justified. The Iran war was begun while negotiations were ongoing. The negotiations were a ruse to achieve strategic surprise.
Just Cause: the reasons for war need to be just and cannot be solely for punishing regimes or people that have done wrong; innocent life must be in imminent danger and intervention must be to protect life. Despite the protestations of the US and Israeli governments, Iran was not planning to attack either US, Israel, or anyone else. The Iran war was an aggressive war of choice which by definition is not in compliance with Just War theory.

Jus in bello: are combatants acting with the principles of justice?

Distinction: Acts of war should be directed towards enemy combatants, and not towards non-combatants caught in circumstances they did not create. Bombing campaigns by definition do not meet the distinction threshold as they cause immense collateral damage. In addition, Donald Trump and Pete Hegseth both have made multiple statements threatening Iranian civilian targets ("We will destroy your civilization") and that they do not feel bound by weak "rules of engagement".
Proportionality: Combatants must make sure that the harm caused to civilians or civilian property is not excessive in relation to legitimate military objectives. The very nature of the entire prosecution of the war, aimed both at eliminating the political leadership and the economic capacity of Iran to exist, defies proportionality.
Military necessity: All attacks must be on legitimate military objectives, and the harm to civilians must be minimal and proportionate. The air campaign has targeted multiple civilian targets including oil refineries, bridges, and in one tragic case a school. None of these, of course, are legitimate military objectives in this context.
Fair treatment of prisoners of war: as far as we know, there have been no prisoners taken in this war. Intentionally so, if you believe Hegseth's "no quarter" promise which by itself invalidates a claim to just war.
No evil means: combatants cannot use weapons that are considered evil. Thankfully there have not been any use of nuclear weapons. Yet. This is the one point that the Trump administration is in undeniable compliance with. At least so far.

All of this is of course meaningless to the Department of War Crimes and even bringing such things up is "weak" and "hinders our warfighters". But JD Vance doesn't get to participate in leading a government that prosecutes a war of choice, and then when a religious leader correctly lectures them and the world that the war (and war in general) is an abomination, respond with "Get back to poping right".

EDIT: Shortly after I posted this, I saw this quote from an op-ed by Marc Thiessen, new op-ed columnist for the Washington-Bezos Post. This encapsulates the regime's utter lack of morality and claim to a Just War mantle completely.

democracy died in darkness, we did our share of flipping light switches

Vance is not a good Catholic. He never was. He is less of one now. And if Catholicism has any truth, he will answer for this.

And for such justice, our hearts do yearn.