LUMNEWS- (C) 2001 STRATICS REMIX [Author: Mako]

If you’ve ever wanted to watch the slow decay of a human being as the pain of time, neglect, and isolation take their terrible toll on his soul, check out Dr. Twister’s Everquest site. I really feel bad for this guy. Here’s a quote, from a news story with the title “Blows Ass”:

This server sucks…… Twister isnt responding to any mails……i think hes AWOL…….YAHOO has suspended all auctions like eBay did……Black market sites will be a venue that is going to mean a lot of people getting ripped off…….EQ is now the number one choice game for KeWl D00Dz…next to Tanarus …but i like Tanarus better than EQ anyway ……..In tanarus news…


I am currantly playing Asherons call, as i have lost ALL interest in EQ in all is its monotony.

So i bid EQ a foul fairwell and look out to the future for other games.

If for some reason I’m forced to become the sexual slave of some third-world regiment somewhere and get brutally beaten every night, at least I’ll be able to say “Well, at least I’m not the EQ guy for Dr. Twister.”.. and for that, I should be thankful. I think… …You know, we here at Lum’s really like to help the developers. Sure, we mock them sometimes, but that’s just our way of expressing our affection for these wonderful people. With that said, we have something special for our friends at Glitchless: A special article on we found. The topic? ‘DirectX8 for Visual Basic, Part 1.’ We love you too, Jeff… linked to a PlanetDreamcast editorial on sexual harassment in PSO. This guy’s female character with a feminine name (apparently gender is decided by class in PSO, a la Diablo 2) has been harassed, taunted, chased, stalked, hit on, spammed, and all number of predictable things. At the same time, he was given lots of free crap (including his best weapon) because everyone thinks he’s female. Frankly, I’ve used the same tactic myself in online games. “Hmm.. I want people to give me loot for no reason. Hey, I’ll roll up a female character!” It’s frighteningly effective…

…Those wacky peeps at BattleVortex linked to some new Shadowbane backstory material (‘legend of shadowbane’) off the official website, Part 1 of 4. It must carry special meaning for the 50 people in beta right now. Those 50 people still don’t include J. Baby J wept… …Now in a bit of older news, here are some new Camelot screenshots. We have “the sweet hot shaft of flaming assrape” and “thor’s ‘hammer’“, which sprays particle effects everywhere. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. For Anarchy Online fans, AO basher and Crossroads of Rubi-Ka are constantly linking to new AO Beta screenshots, so check them out… …Speaking of the AO beta, it’s slowly swelling with additional e-mails and beta CDs being sent by Funcom. Last count on their Phase III beta participants is 6500. As far as I know, they’re the biggest beta out there right now. Woo woo…

…for people who want to access the Elemental Age alpha (which apparently has been running since forever, not since last thursday), random lummie Vol told me you have to E-mail them to get access/an account once you’ve downloaded the testing software. “The alpha crashed my comp to kingdom come, but that’s another story.” As expected…

…And now for the stupidest poll ever, straight to you from your friends at Camelot Stratics.

I would like DAoC to be,

-The best MMORPG around!

-The most innovative MMORPG around!

-A fun MMORPG!

-The most interesting MMORPG around!

-I don’t care, I’ll be playing something else!

My brain is on fire. Hey, wait a second, that’s actually a great idea. IT’S LUMTHEMAD.NET POLL TIME! Where you, our brave readers, get to choose the direction our site takes. Use Glitchless’s unique mind-reading technology to fill out this form!

I would like to be,

-The best website around!

-The most fun website around!

-The most interesting website around!

-The rantings of Myschyf the Mad!

-The rantings of Ithaqua the Mad!

-Copyrighted (C) 2001 By Stratics!

-I don’t care, I only read the Dr.Twister Network!

Your opinion counts here at Lum’s. Really, it does… …Well, come on now, we don’t want to mock Stratics too much (Stratics is (C) 2001 Stratics), now would we? I mean, sheesh, at least they have the courage to bring you THE REAL STORIES IN UO. Talk about edgy content! Woo…

The Trade Wars: Dark Millennium site has been updated with a FAQ and some other random stuff. But wait! Check out what was e-mailed to us from Epic Interactive Strategy! (side note: the official Epic Interactive Strategy mail account is a free e-mail account. I pity humanity.)

Epic Interactive Strategy (EIS) would like to announce the next phase in the Trade Wars 2002 / TWGS development. We are currently working on the final text addition release as well as a new, modern

graphical remake. The tentative release date for this is sometime in the year 2002. This will be a “rebirth” of Trade Wars 2002.

But what about Dark Millennium? Read on.

We are sure that you in the Trade Wars community are aware that Realm Interactive is in the process of releasing a MMPOG called Trade Wars: Dark MillenniumT. While EIS will be working closely with Realm on their new release, these two releases are completely separate in both scope and style. The similar dates of announcements are purely coincidental.

So there are two graphical Trade Wars games coming out, operating off the same brand name and with ample opportunity for confusion. FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!…