MOTION TO FILL PLAINTIFF’S SOCKS WITH MUSTARD AND THROW THEM FROM THE COURTOOM WINDOW DENIED [Author: Lum the Mad]

Yeah, I know, I’m supposed to be looking for work and stuff and don’t actually write here any more. Sue me. No, wait, don’t. Apparently you have to wait in line if you do.

I actually found out about this lawsuit threat while on the phone to a potential employer which made it somewhat embarassing explaining why I couldn’t stop laughing. Anyway, since I apparently am the focus of all things dark and spikey in Red Dragon’s universe, I thought a comment or two was warranted. Note that in a warm, fuzzy, and wholly legal sense these comments and opinions are mine alone and do not represent the opinions of EZBoard, Atomic Rhino, Verio, Dotster, Time-Warner, Jinx, or Stratics. Well, actually, they do represent the opinions of Stratics. But don’t tell anyone.

OK, my comments on this ridiculous foolishness:

The articles in question Mr. Baumann seems to have a problem with (Tale of the Dragon, mainly) have been looked over by attorneys and they fit neither the legal nor the commonly held definition of libel. At no point did we slander Mr. Baumann or his many companies; in fact pretty much the extent of Bob’s reporting was in posting hyperlinks to Mr. Baumann’s own words.

Unfortunately, it’s apparently not possible to bring a lawsuit against yourself. Mr. Baumann seems to wish he could, judging from his distress at his own “stock offer in Purestroke” posting appearing in a search engine query on Yahoo and subsequent threats to EZBoard, maintainers of the message board in question. It seems that Mr. Baumann wishes to muzzle, by threats of reckless legal action, any and all discussion of his business endeavors relating to golf clubs, nineteen seperate varieties of sponges, or the combinations thereof.

While there is no legal precedent as of yet as to whether or not message board traffic is protected speech under the First Amendment, the question’s already attracted some interest. It is my belief, however, and moreover one shared by the attorneys who have expressed an interest in representing the defendants in this potential case, that in fact this has nothing to do with message board traffic, but is simply a form of legal terrorism waged by Mr. Baumann to stifle any public discussion of his questionable business practices.

Needless to say, the previous articles we have posted regarding “Red Dragon Software” remain on this site, and I’ve been informed by the current owners of this site that they will continue to do so. If Mr. Baumann wishes to continue to threaten myself and others associated with this web site with legal action, he will be ignored. If he actually is foolish and unaware of the actual laws involved to file an actual legal case as opposed to the imaginary threats we have seen thus far, I personally will immediately file a countersuit for harassment and will seek damages in full for any expenses incurred while defending myself from this clearly frivolous legal action.

Any further comments from myself on this matter will be handled through my attorneys. Thank you for your attention and patience.

Discuss: Real cases. Real people. Judge Judy.