NO - WAIT A MINUTE - YOU MEAN PEOPLE DON’T BUY INTERNET ACCOUNTS JUST TO SEE MY ADS? [Author: Lum the Mad]

Internet collapse fallout #981: SitePowerUP’s Vor the Admin goes on a tear.

No good advertising agency, anywhere, will rep community sites any more. Period. The only ones that are are the ones that are part of large portal sites where the low response rate and poor traffic quality of the boards can be blended in with the higher quality traffic in the rest of the site.

He goes on to actually detail what advertisers look for – “clickthrough” rates on banner ads from message boards and other “community” sites.

This is why other sites might average .5% to 1% clickthroughs to ads, the average community site averages .05% to .10% (and I am not exaggerating that figure; the best we’ve ever done is something on the order of .14%).

For every 1000 viewers, one accidentally clicked on an ad. If that. Obviously ad banners don’t work too well. What’s surprising is that the ad banner industry, busily making death gurgles, is blaming sites that are too successful at keeping their customers interested.

Well, we’ll see none of that here. So that LtM.net will be ever more friendlier to our advertisers, we’re going to be boring as hell. To start our new “We Will, We Will BORE YOU!” campaign, here’s a random quote from Jacques Derrida.

… from the invisible inside, where I could neither see nor want the very thing that I have always been scared to have revealed on the scanner, by analysis – radiology, echography, endocrinology, hematology – a crural vein expelled my blood outside\tab that I thought beautiful once stored in that bottle under a label that I doubted couldavoid confusion or misappropriation of the vintage, leaving me nothing more to do, the inside of my life exhibiting itself outside, expressing itself before my eyes, absolved without a gesture, dare I say of writing if I compare the pen to a syringe, and I always dream of a pen that wouldbe a syringe, a suction point rather than that very hard weapon with which one must inscribe, incise, choose, calculate, take ink before filtering the inscribable, playing the keyboard on the screen, whereas here, once the vein has been found, no more toil, no responsibility, no risk of bad taste or violence, the blood delivers itself all alone, the

insidegives itself up and you can do as you like with it, it’s me but I’m no longer there, for nothing, for nobody, diagnose the worst…

Our studies indicate that if we continue to quote from Derrida unexpectedly during unrelated news stories, we should achieve an ad banner clickthrough rate of 85.32%. Interestingly, we also believe we’ll achieve a user-claws-their-own-eyes-out-with-spoons rate of 72.4%. But we won’t tell the advertisers that. After all, it’s vitally important that you learn more about obtaining secured credit cards. Or something.