Salvation of Gaming As We Know It Delayed To February

Darkfall, previously scheduled to free our minds, await the following of our asses on January 22, finally described the scheduling of the last, best hope of MMO gaming.

To break it down:

• Releasing an MMO is hard and stuff but they have to get it right because this is going to save us all from those goddam carebear monstrosities and you know you’re gonna wait for it anyway so stfu
• Hardest of hard hardcore hardness to be invited into a beta on January 22 and if you’re not playing Darkfall by then you are a loser and should pray for death
• It’s going to take time to set up the billing system because god knows uncounted millions of people around the world and possibly elsewhere are going to be up for this on the first day, you know it
• Beta was delayed a couple weeks, but only because the developers are so totally awesome that they knew they had to and if you weren’t such a freakin’ ladyboy you’d understand that
• Launch may be staggered after the official date because the Internet itself may have to be reconfigured to route traffic properly to Darkfall servers. Pre-order and beta customers will get in first because everyone else is useless and should, as noted earlier, pray for swift death
• Darkfall is only planned to launch in Europe at this time because Americans are worthless and weak and fat slobs who totally could never win against your main.
• ” Hype surrounding Darkfall is huge right now, despite our best efforts.”