See, this is why we just can’t have nice things.

Today’s rampaging stupidity is brought to you by Twitch Guru (pause while my eye twitches uncontrollably): a multiplayer melee on female gamers.
There’s oh, so many places this can go, and a few of them are even worksafe! The article, which references Kim Rom’s previous rampaging stupidity approvingly, equates women who game with Fragdoll-esque “grrl power!” joysticks ‘n spandex marketing fantasies, and from that comes to this conclusion:

“Female gaming”, as it exists today on the professional circuit – and in the minds of the policy makers, if not the legions of female MMORPG players – is nothing more than a deluded male fantasy gone wild.

He then also complains that the Suicide Girls (no link, because… um… it’s porn) aren’t real gamers. Now, I’m not quite sure who was asserting that the Suicide Girls were a gaming clan. Unless your definition of gaming clan includes getting naked and charging a monthly fee for photo access? Well, um, in that case you may be in another deluded male fantasy gone wild.

Speaking of deluded male fantasies gone wild, I’m pretty sure this feature is the only story which includes:


  • nude renders of characters from Uwe Boll movies
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  • Stevie “Killcreek” Case’s CV
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  • Fragdoll publicity stills
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  • E3 booth babe pictures
  • \tab

  • Ads for laptops from Tom’s Hardware

I tell you, it’s like they laid out this article just for me. Escapist, take note! All that’s needed is a few explosions.

The real atrocity of this article, of course, is that it actually refers to the “professional gamer circuit” without irony. From this first person shooter-centric viewpoint that views women as strange, mystical creatures who “play those MMO things”, any woman that dares to actually be good at shooters is obviously just there as some sort of plaything. The fact that most ridiculously corporate fabricated “grrl gamer” FPS clans are aimed at this stereotype only proves that the corporate culture providers still do their best to manufacture velveeta. The original sin isn’t theirs – it’s in the legions of FPS server habitues who created a locker room culture that turned “teabag” into a verb.

So, with what thought should I leave you?

In the meantime, we shouldn’t lump in every girl that loves gaming with the frauds and posers. According to research from sources like the Nielsen Entertainment Interactive Group, close to 40 percent of gamers today in America are female, and that number is projected to grow. So let’s not let the minority of pin-up girls with poor gaming skills ruin things for the majority of girls that really love gaming.

So… if a real editor was filing that story, that last para could have been punched up to:

Yeah. The previous 6 pages? Uh, I was wrong. My bad.

Hooray for online gaming journalism!