“TAKING A BULLET FOR MRPG COMEDY” or “DAWN HOC 3″ [Author: delusion]
Welcome to Dawn HoC 3, the first Dawn HoC to be hosted in #lummies.
<Ironfist> Hey jeff can we have balloons?
<GL-Jeff> We are incorporating balloons for long distance travelling that will run on hot air and players with metalworking and tailoring can create blimpbs
<GL-Jerry> You can kidnap and assrape people in our game too
<GL-Jeff> assrape will be a skill you can only achieve by completing some difficult quests
<calenth> can i rape chocolate golems?
<GL-Jeff> you can’t make chocolate golems, but you can cover a golem with dirt bricks and call him chocolate
<GL-Jerry> you can cut off bodyparts and wear them as armor
<calenth> what about if i make assless golems specially in advance?
<GL-Jerry> I made a suit of tits in 3DS Max!
<GL-Jeff> golems have no internal digestive systems right now, but that will be added in our expansion
<Staberinde> Oh oh oh, can I set traps in my golems ass so if someone assrapes it flying monkeys come out of it and kill them with the exploding bananas?
<GL-Jeff> Good question Staberine. We have that system 75% complete
<GL-Jeff> You will have to wait for the beta to see
<Staberinde> So the flying monkeys launch, they just don’t throw bananas?
<GL-Jeff> if you tame a monkey you can train it tricks.
<GL-Jeff> eventually it can learn advanced skills like flight and engineering
<GL-Jeff> right now we have a comprehensive list of thirty skills that monkeys’ can learn, each unique to the monkey class
<GL-Jeff> can they use catapults? right now, those devices are for humaniod players only
<Gothic_Moth> Can I be the King of the Gothic Moths?
<GL-Jeff> Anyone can be king – our game allows for all forms of player created and enforced politics
<Ironfist> how large can the fetuses get? can we enchant them to make them huge?
<GL-Jeff> ironfist – well a dragon fetus is quite large
<GL-Pete_B> *whispers* promise them a free beta, I have a clever idea!
<Gothic_Moth> Does a dragon fetus fit in a Trebuchet?
<GL-Jeff> gothic – depends on how early in development the dragon fetus is
<GL-Jeff> they all start out as a single cell, you know 🙂
<Ironfist> can we build houses out of fetuses and tits?
<GL-Jerry> You can make a people grinding machine with the advanced tinkering skill and trick people into walking into it
<J__> Will you get to have anal sex with dragon fetuses?
<J__> Will there be abortions in Dawn?
<J__> Will you be able to dupe fetuses?
<GL-Jeff> J – abortions will only be the result of losing your connection during conception
<Gothic_Moth> Do Trolls come with mighty ass scratch action poses?
<GL-Jeff> goth – trolls can be taught any number of skills
<GL-Jerry> Gothic: YES! Trolls can even fist themselves
<Gothic_Moth> If my wife is giving birth to a kewl d00d can we put the little bastard up for adoption?
<GL-Jeff> adoption is something we will not directly support
<GL-Jeff> however
<GL-Jeff> players can put together this sytem and will enforce it themselves
<GL-Jeff> ../next
<MadmanSBR> will blow jobs be supported in Dawn?
<GL-Jeff> blow jobs and other sex acts won’t be programmed, but you can always emote them.
<GL-Jeff> ../next
<Asimov> Next Question: <Brad> So when I have my second gay marriage, will there be a spell to impregnate my partner?
<GL-Jeff> Brad – well I don’t see a problem with that. In fact, we plan to allow for same sex polygamy and the Gods will actually grant them magical pregnancies
<GL-Jeff> ../next
<DanSTC> Jerry, will there be a technological skill for creating new kinds of baby fetus launchers, such as cannons, bottle rockets, and tactical missiles?
<GL-Jeff> Dan – actually, if you can obtain sulfur and other primary ingredients, you can use the invention skill to create giant cannons like in FF7
<GL-Jeff> those can be used to launch fetuses machine gun style
<GL-Jeff> ../next
<MadmanSBR> will I be able to dig up?
<GL-Jeff> madman – yes. digging is vertical
<GL-Jerry> …/next
<Gothic_Moth> question: If a tree falls in the woods in Dawn, does a baby fetus hear it?
<GL-Jerry> Only if the tree has an EAX soundcard(I just learned that word today)
<Daddy> i wonder if dawn is lessening the number of cretins on the horizons boards.
<GL-Jeff> Actually we plan to incorporate all of Horizons within Dawn
<GL-Jerry> ../next
<MadmanSBR> will everyone’s penis size be the same? or will different races have different penis sizes?
<GL-Jerry> I just modeled blue potions so use your imaginations on the penis upgrades
<MadmanSBR> will the women’s tits be big?
<GL-Jerry> the womens tits will be 60 polys(I just learned that word)
<GL-Jerry> ../next
<Gothic_Moth> Only 60?!?
<Gothic_Moth> I want 40,000 poly boobage!
<GL-Jerry> 40000000 poly tits will be in the expantion
<GL-Jerry> ../next
<MadmanSBR> will Dawn pay me for playing their game?
<GL-Jerry> Only if you agree to ‘fluff’ GMs
<GL-Jerry> ../next
<Gothic_Moth> Oh, will Dawn offer Full Screen Anti-Aliasing or Transform lighting?
<GL-Jerry> Gothic: oh yeah, those things are good right?
<GL-Jerry> ../next
<Gothic_Moth> Will Dawn be running on an OC3 or an Okragon 303baud modem?
<GL-Jerry> 7654Ghx
<GL-Jerry> ../next
<MadmanSBR> will Dawn have more than 10 kinds of sponges? and will you have a lufa as well?
<GL-Jerry> Anus sponges are in
<GL-Jerry> ../next
<MadmanSBR> Do you have crabs?
<GL-Jerry> to get crabs you have to touch lady parts right?
<GL-Jerry> ../next
<DanSTC> MadmanSBR> No, but you can catch them from aZZraping corpses without protection.
<GL-Jerry> STDs are in for corpses
<GL-Jerry> ../next
<Gothic_Moth> Question: Will Dawn offer grapes in both the unpeeled and peeled varieties?
<Daddy> do you play games to bake bread, or to launch fetuses from catapults?
<GL-Jerry> I play games to bake fetuses
<GL-Jerry> ../next
<Gothic_Moth> Will we get phat l3wt if we sell our sons to the gods?
<GL-Jerry> human sacrific is in
<GL-Jerry> ../next
<DanSTC> Is there a tailoring and cooking skill for edible underwear?
<GL-Jerry> You need sex skill to make sex toys
<GL-Jerry> ../next
<Daddy> gl-jeff: first off, i just want to say what great game devs and programmers you are, and will you please spank my ass and call me momma. Secondly, what’s the youngest age you can reproduce at in dawn, and if you’re pregnant, and get high, is the baby retarded?
<GL-Jerry> You can get pregnant at 5. Boozing while pregnant gives the baby better strength(like my brother)!
<GL-Jerry> ../next
<Lum_> Can you be a Cardassian?
<GL-Jerry> You can emote being Cardassian but only if practicing anal sex
<GL-Jerry> ../next
<Staberinde> If I spank my monkey and call it willy, will Dawn reflect this?
<GL-Jerry> cock names are in
<GL-Jerry> ../next
<DanSTC> Will there be woman-raping tentacle penis monsters in the game, and if so, can I watch them go to town urry cat amazon half-nude chicks?
<GL-Jerry> Camping devil cock spawns is needed to craft dildos
<GL-Jerry> ../next
<Senate> If I roleplay a lesbian nazi hooker will that affect my character’s reputation, even if I give sexual o every person I see walk past me on the street?
<GL-Jerry> Nazi and lesbian factions are incompatable
<GL-Jerry> ../next
<DanSTC> We will reward the women who have the most sex in the game.
<GL-Jerry> Dan: Bukkake is in
<GL-Jerry> ../next
<DanSTC> Is there a “Pimp slap” emote?
<GL-Jerry> Pimp slap is emotable but there are better ways to control your prostitutes
<GL-Jerry> ../next
<MadmanSBR> will I be able to live if I have my head chopped off?
<GL-Jerry> Headless Horseman is a playable race
<GL-Jerry> ../next
<Senate> If I find an exploit where I can rape women through walls for good XP, will you nerf the rape skill, and/or ban players that also use this technique?
<GL-Jerry> wall punching cocks are in
<GL-Jerry> ../next
<Darwin`s_Hand> What the FUCK is going on in here?
<DanSTC|Charity> We’re interviewing GL-Jerry, the maker of Dawn. 🙂
<GL-Jerry> you are free to emote interviewing me
<GL-Jerry> ../next
<MadmanSBR> what about pac man emulators?
<GL-Jeff> Dawn will have Pong in it.
<calenth> of COURSE they’re going to implement penlties for being female.
<calenth> i don’t even need to see their docs to know they ahve that.
<GL-Jeff> well I’ve never actually touched one, but I imagine that breasts are like counterbalances that prevent you from running properly.
<GL-Jeff> okay tonight’s topic is: playing females in Dawn.
<GL-Jeff> First the “gods” will find all the loser guys who pretend to be women, and “deal” with them
<Lietgardis> SEXY CHAINMALE PLZ, JEFFIE-POO
<GL-Jeff> All women will be r33t and look like Lietgardis.
<GL-Jeff> only in chainmail
< Darwin`s_Hand> Jeff: Will there be birth animations in Dawn?
< Darwin`s_Hand> and how realistic will they be?
<GL-Jeff> Darwin`s_Hand – no but there is nothing to prevent you from emoting /me has birth with so and so
<GL-Jeff> Our game engine is 74.3% complete so our current shots are rendered
<GL-Jeff> but they are fair representations of what we plan for Dawn
<Savant> Jeff, will there be combat in Dawn, or will we need to do /me fights a_monster_00.
<GL-Jeff> There will be fights because players will be *DEFENDING REAL PLAYER GOVERNMENTS AND LAWS*
<GL-Jeff> Also, we have a large gold sink in Dawn that players will enjoy
<GL-Jeff> no, but it has both hot and cold water taps
<aureus> does it have one of those spray nozzles?
<GL-Jeff> yes – to clean dishes before putting them in the gold dishwasher
<Lietgardis> GL-Jeff: If you get in a player-made hot tub with a masculine man, is it possible to become pregnant?
<GL-Jeff> Lietgardis – only if he gains access to your labia
<GL-Jeff> we have made copulation very detailed and realistic to real world conjunction
* GL-Jeff we think. we’re not really sure
<Savant> Jeff: Will we have a Pinch Boob emote?
<GL-Jeff> no, but we will use the UO animations method where you use command words like .bow and .salute
<GL-Jeff> currently, we’re finishing work on .grabankles
<Lietgardis> Will you have studded leather gorgets?
<GL-Jeff> We will have metal studs that players can punch onto any object in the game, including other players
<Savant> Jeff: Will women who end their “cycles” have Hot Flashes, and how will they effect them in-game?
<GL-Jeff> Savant – There will be no cycles for anyone to ride in our game. it is medieval based
<da_slog> Will you be able to make fetuses move like puppets?
<GL-Jeff> check the FAQ – we’ve addressed every single permutation of any variation of the word fetus ad nauseum
<Lietgardis> Can I conduct medical research on them?
<GL-Jeff> yes, and if you study medicine, you can perform surgery on players. if you are good enough, you can find unwilling subjects
<Lietgardis> Will I be banned if I name myself Mengele?
<GL-Jeff> We would prefer to keep Mexican politics out of our game as it will destroy the careful RPG element that will dominate our free form game
<Izang> Jeff: Will we be able to cook the afterbirth or use it as an improvised weapon?
<GL-Jeff> Izang – we are no longer addressing fetus related questions.
<GL-Jeff> check the FAQ
<Delusion> Can I make fetus jerky?
<GL-Jeff> YES YES
<Soulflame> How can anyone take this seriously?
<GL-Jeff> Soulflame> Read the FAQ
<Izang> Jeff: When can we expect an SGI IRIX port?
<GL-Jeff> You can expect it as soon as powerplay is completed, Izang.
<Savant> What about Dreamcast?
<GL-Jeff> Savant> No. Not until 3d studio max is available. But you can still be a member of our brilliant roleplaying community!
<Soulflame> Dawn will be released on PS2, PSX, Gamecube, N64, Dreamcast, Mac, AIX 4.3.3, Mac, Amiga, Coleco, and TI99?
<GL-Jeff> Our current client is experiencing some problems on the Apple 2e
<GL-Jeff> But it should begin running smoothly as soon as we figure out how to boot our floppy disks.
<Avie> what about the PET – will you support that?
<GL-Jeff> Avie> Yes. We will also support “Catz” and “Dogz” and “Oddballz”
<GL-Jeff> now, /next
<Delusion> <Soulflame> How can anyone take this seriously?
<Delusion> Utter blind faith and naivete.
<GL-Jeff> Del> each game box will ship with a bottle of Jack Daniels to help you get into the game.
<Delusion> Will Dawn support MIDI?
<GL-Jeff> Our net code client is actually based on MIDI.
<GL-Jeff> Meaning that it’s every bit as grating and annoying.
<ArcadianDelSol> Jeff- will there be hats in Dawn?
<GL-Jeff> Yes, we will have all kinds of hats. Even little aluminum ones to block out the martian mind control rays that our fanbase seems to be so fond of.
<Izang> Jeff: Can I ride a horse wearing nothing but a mage hat?
<GL-Jeff> Izang> No, but the house can wear nothing but you.
<GL-Jeff> er, horse.
<GL-Jeff> Darn this keyboard! I AM SO SICK OF DEALING WITH YOU PEOPLE! THIS KEYBOARD HATES ME!
<GL-Jeff> Next question!
<Izang> Jeff: Will there be native FUFME support?
<GL-Jeff> Izang> No, but we do plan on stripping naked and dousing our bodies with coca cola while we roll in the T-shirt money you sent.
<GL-Jeff> Next question!
<StackedMidgets> Jeff: Will you be able to sacrifice aborted fetuses to satan?
<GL-Jeff> Aborted fetuses are already dead. Next question.
<GL-Jeff> oH nUOOOO!@!@ IT SI TEH FLYING ELVESSAA!! 1 TTHEY R BACK AAAGAINASASS!@!#!
<GL-Jeff> whOOpss!!@ riTAlIN TiEM#!@!
<GL-Jeff> Okay, better now.
<GL-Jeff> Next question.
<Delusion> Will there be harmonicas in Dawn?
<GL-Jeff> Del> We do not have harmonicas, but we do have plenty of cat gut. We presume you could /emote on that cat gut as if it were a musical instrument.
<GL-Jeff> anyway, /next
<Delusion> WILL I CRAMP UP IF I DO A LOT OF MELEE FIGHTING WITHOUT HAVING DONE STRETCHING EXERCIZES FIRST?
<GL-Jeff> Del> Yes, and make sure you wait an hour before fighting after you eat or you will get a sideache and lose automatically. Next question.
<ArcadianDelSol> sideache?
<ArcadianDelSol> is that yiddish?
<ArcadianDelSol> oy I gots a sideache!
<GL-Jeff> SIDEACHE!@!@ SHUTS UPZORS!@@! I HATE JOO PPLS@!@!! AARRGHGH!@!@
<GL-Jeff> EVERYONE SHUTS UP!@!@@#!!
<GL-Jeff> OO! A pony on tv!
<GL-Jeff> Okay, I’m alllll better now.
<GL-Jeff> next question!
<Izang> Jeff: Would you consider trading 3D Max 3.5 material libraries with me? You have some great ones in the screenshots.
<GL-Jeff> next question
<Izang> Jeff: Will Cybiko be supported?
<GL-Jeff> We are currently working on a version of our client that will run on palm pilot.
<GL-Jeff> We have a version up and running on my best friends tamagotchi, but he wont let me play with it.
<GL-Jeff> NEXT QUESTION! GOD I HATE EVERYONE!
<GL-Jeff> My life is a black pit and I am it’s orifice.
<GL-Jeff> DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS OF THE DARK LORD! YOU KNOW NOT OF THE FORCES YOU INVOKE, FLESH ONE!
<GL-Jeff> Anyway, back to our fun and exciting game.
<GL-Jeff> Next question!
<Delusion> Will Dawn players be able to spell “ASSHOLE” out in trout?
<GL-Jeff> Only if the trout aren’t flopping around.
<GL-Jeff> Next question!
<Staberinde> How does Dawn’s grease cutting power compare to other, more established games such as UO and EQ?
<GL-Jeff> Staber> Dawn’s grease-cutting action power is far superior to other brand X detergants.
<GL-Jeff> Next question!
<Staberinde> If Dawn were a car would it be a Yugo or a Hyundai?
<GL-Jeff> Staber> It would be a porsche with a giant cardboard spoiler.
* ArcadianDelSol once played the role of Fellatio with a “Shakespeare in the park” troupe
<ArcadianDelSol> we never had a show tho. I only remember the rehearsals.
<GL-Jeff> We here at glitchless encourage roleplay. Which is why we’ll reward all roleplaying with immediate killings, lootings, and bannings.
<Izang> Jeff: Will you be playing a god in game?
<GL-Jeff> Izang> My ego demands I must play as THE god. YOU WILL ALL BOW BEFORE ME!
<GL-Jeff> Next question.
<ArcadianDelSol> Jeff – is it true that you play King Jeffy on your web game and that you are killling newbies with 1 million point hits?
<GL-Jeff> Arcadian> I w1LL oWNZ j00 4 s4Y1ng tht4!!@!111
<Izang> Jeff: Jeff how many sexual character animations will be in the game?
<GL-Jeff> Izang> Read the section in the FAQ on the Kama-sutra.
<Mr_Poppinfresh> Jeff: I just want to say, I really love your work and keep up the good work! Now, will you be able to fire roleplayed fetuses out of your straight tunnel into the center of the player-run baking district, thus ruining the economy by splattering dead baby all over the gold reserves?
<GL-Jeff> Mr poppinfresh> that question should be taken out and shot. NEXT!
*** Quits: GL-Jeff (Connection reset by peer )
*** Joins: GL-Jeff (Daniel_St.@f64ccaa7.san.14056255.com.hmsk)
<Delusion> GL-Jeff?
<GL-Jeff> Sorry about that. My business partner who was underneith my desk, doing, ah, server maintinence tripped over the cord.
<Izang> Jeff: Will you be releasing the source code to Dawn before or after the Sparc 2 port?
<GL-Jeff> Izang> No, not until we can get the source code for our warez version of Adobe photoshop.
<Lum_> WHAT A COINCIDENCE
<Lum_> I’M WORKING ON A DAWN STORY
<GL-Jeff> AAAGH! LUM! IS IT THE DEVIL SPAWN HIMSELF! HERETIC! BURN!
* GL-Jeff puts fingers in the shape of a crucifix.
<GL-Jeff> Okay, how’s this: “YOU ARE ALL WORTHLESS AND WEAK! NOW DROP AND GIVE ME 20!”
<GL-Jeff> That concludes the Third Dawn HoC.