Broken Toys

Sign in Subscribe

THANKS FOR THE AUDITION, BABE… WE’LL GET BACK TO YOU [Author: lum]

Some folks really want to be one of the new writers. Unfortunately, this guy seems to have too many gender identity issues.

(BTW, why is it that whenever I piss off the gimps, the inevitable retort is “Yeah, but you’re fat!”. That’s like, shorthand for “Everything you say is accurate and there’s no way I can ever get anyone to disagree with you, so instead I’ll fall back to what worked in grade school.” I mean, what’s next, Yo Mama jokes?)

Read next

Look Upon Thy Works, You

When I was a young punk I dyed my hair, sneered at everyone, and thought “Kill your parents” was an arch joke. Now my generation dyes their hair (to hide the grey), sneers at the camera, and exhorts you to let your parents die for their stock options. We have

Pretty Hearthstone Machine

you are the perfect draw the perfect draw the perfect draw

The Stab In The Back

As entertainment a while back, I used to tell the story of World War One. It was great fun at parties. I’d get rolling during work lunches at bougie little lunch places, and half of the establishment would be staring balefully at our table around the time I cut