UO NEWS AND WHIRLED REPORT [Author: Arcadian Del Sol]

PAGE ONE: Melantus posts on a board. And it isn’t one of ours.

Always a welcome Bringer of Explanation to our discussion forums, the Harbinger of Huzzah, Dwight “Melantus” Schultz drew the short straw at OSI this month and was force-fed a bowl of alphabet soup until a “Comments from the Team” message popped out. The rumor from the kitchen staff is that an EA executive insisted that all the Q and A be removed from the bowl prior to release.

Here is a small green sample from his update found here:

One question that players have asked of me is why we aren\’e2\’80\’99t more open with them with our ideas or our plans. To some degree we are, but this is an area that has unfortunately been the source of trouble in the past. We certainly like to talk to the players about UO, and listen to their ideas about the direction the game should take.

I wholeheartedly agree with this standpoint. In fact, one might say that my views MIRROR those of Melantus. I realize that I should be much harder on Melantus than this, but he has been quite the Sir Postalot lately and I have already chased away my quota of red names this month.


…for orcs (insert Simpson-esque HAH HAH here).

Brace for impact because this wave is hitting within the next 48 hours. New artwork patched last night shows some alarming connections to this tale posted recently at uo.com. Orcs, clearly not as dumb as we may have thought, are rumored to be developing technologies previously considered “too brainy” for such numbskulled creatures. No word on who may be behind all of this. My guess is a big orc in a green hooded robe. And in case you think this might be a flashy distraction from the recent bad news, we’ve learned that there is enough source material already scripted to run for the next several months. Don’t blink, heroes – you just might miss something important.

PAGE THREE:OSI to Ex-Volunteers – “Didn’t we fire you? Why are you still here?”

Shortly after the news that they were no longer welcome, purple named unpaid volunteers began posting in the in-game support forum. Every last one was a personal thank you note, wishing the players they had met and supported luck and joy in the future. Many players chimed in as well. It was a wonderful “lovefest in the face of adversity”. That is, until someone at OSI spotted it and deleted all the posts. Not only are the volunteer programs torn asunder – they are verbotten. Speculation is that all the former counselor halls in town will have the word “icabod” painted in blood across the front doors.

PAGE FOUR: OSI to griefers – Dont let the Dor hit you where the good Lord split you.

Dor of Sonoma’s tale of woe was published on a now-removed thread at uo.com and reprinted in a previous edition of UO NEWS AND WHIRLED REPORT. One of those who had been griefing the YMCA of Sonoma was spry (dumb?) enough to post this message on that very same thread at uo.com:

…and yes, I grief there. But I never did until Dor “moved in”.

As for the YMCA. We will continue to Grief the building until Dor steps down, or OSI removes the building completely (not just the blessings, EVERYTHING)!

What few people realize is that OSI does not consider the official UO boards to be a separate entity from Ultima Online – and posting a declaration of intent to violate the TOS = dumbness. Witness the fast and furious ramifications at the Codex Forums:

To everyone I’ve ever played UO with:

My account had been “permanently banned”. I still don’t know exactly why, but they claim that I made some posts on their message boards that were against the rules of conduct. I still don’t know exactly what they were. Though I’m still trying to sort this out, I don’t believe they will change their minds on this. So, until the next game, or a miracle happens and I get back in, good bye.

-Xornicon Altair

Have a terrible day!

When asked why he was banned, he gave this interestingly edited version of his damning uo.com post:

You’re right. I do hold things personally against Dor. But that’s entirely what this is about. It’s us against her. And it’s always been that way. The only difference, now, is that she’s the owner of a high profile ocation, whereas before, she was just another twink in the mix. And yes, I grief there. But I never did until Dor “moved in”. I never had a reason to until then.

Any other wise cracks from smart asses?

I cant think of any more wise cracks right now, sorry.

Thanks for staying on top of your game, OSI.

There you go – every single last story about UO that will happen today. I guarantee you that I have not missed one single thing – nope. Not a one. You can rely upon the staff at UO NEWS to never miss any story. We are here for you. We thank you for your continued support.

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