UO NEWS AND WHIRLED REPORT [Author: Arcadian Del Sol]

Igames adds Third Dawn to launch menu

To kick off the latest Ultima Online repackaging, Igames will offer 30 minutes of FREE GAME PLAY, which as we all know is exactly enough time to figure out that RABBITS WILL KILL YOU and that the PLAYERS ARE ASSHOLES. All I can say is based upon most of the posts at the official UO:3D discussion boards, I sure hope Igames doesn’t use any video cards made by NVidia or 3DFX. Speaking of the official UO:Third Dawn Discussion Boards….

Official UO:3D boards infected with the “Why doesn’t (any given feature) work with my (any given video card) after I install UO:3d?” virus.

This virus will cause any computer attempting to run Third Dawn to log onto the UO Boards and post a message with a random complaint about a random feature conflicting with a random piece of hardware or software on their computer as the message title. See for yourself. Another variant of the virus seems to be removing any and all comments from anyone at the company that used to put the name “Origin” on its products. Speaking of names on boxes….

Ancient untouched website reveals glimmer of hope for the future of online games.

A crack team of internet archaeologists have recently discovered a website that has remained untouched by human hands since the early 1998 period. We are very excited by this find, one scientist commented. We found a portion of ancient writings that seems to hint at the future return of a benevolent monarch who for some unexplained reason was forced to leave his people behind. It bears much resemblance to Authurian legends and we have expert historians currently looking into these strange similarities.”

The mysterious writing to which he refers comes after thirteen pages of “No positions currently available in (any department)” in the recruitment section. It is as follows:

\’c2\’a9 Copyright, 2000, ORIGIN Systems, Inc. Origin, We Create Worlds, Wing Commander & ULTIMA are registered trademarks of ORIGIN Systems, Inc. Lord British is a registered trademark of Richard Garriott. AH-64D Longbow, Crusader: No Remorse and the distinctive Origin logo mark are trademarks of ORIGIN Systems, Inc. Electronic Arts is a registered trademark of Electronic Arts. Jane’s is a registered trademark of Jane’s Information Group, Ltd. All other trademarks are acknowledged as the property of their respective owners.

Unconfirmed (read: probably bullshit) rumors floating these days are that Lord British has offered a wheelbarrel full of sawbucks in exchange for the rights to UO2. One variant of the rumor has him currently shopping with publishers to secure a deal. What with the Mir spacestation now smoldering in Davey Jones’ Locker, I suppose he has all sorts of free time on his hands and nothing to spend his Richie Rich Style money bags on. As for you Ultima Online players, be aware that ELECTRONIC ARTS HATES YOU. Don’t say you heard it from me, but microphones planted during the UO World Faire overheard the phrase “…clowns dressing up like Peter Pan” coming from a pair of EA Rockports. I’m inclined to believe this, given EA’s fandom for sports titles and the fact that Ultima Online DOESN’T HAVE ANY FOOTBALLS IN IT. In our “rumors now confirmed” file, Robert “Great Bob” Roland has found himself a job. As he put it recently in the official Joshua Rowan mailgroup, I’m going to work for a company called Netdevil, and their game Jumpgate. It’s an online space sim. Good luck GBob, and keep reaching for the stars. I’m glad you were able to slip an update or two into the website before going off to join the ranks of the enemy once more.

That’s it for this edition of UO News and Whirled Report.

This has been a presentation of: LtMNews Incorporated.