PAGE ONE: Official: Trammel is the best no worst i mean best no wait worst added feature of all time

Two threads:

Top 3 Negative Achievements of UO

Top 3 Positive Achievements of UO

The Number One Positive Achievement? That would be the anti-mirror called Trammel

The Number One Negative Achievement? That would also be Trammel

God bless the UO community.

PAGE TWO: Holy Tajima, a new Ultima Online title?

Hot on the Achilles heels of Ultima Online 2: Nexus comes the following leak from Tajima, former co-producer of Ultima Online:

I was the Co-Producer/Development Director of Third Dawn, and am now focusing on the next UO title among other efforts.

I have not logged into UO for a few days. Did they quickly go and patch everything that was fubar (and then everything that patch would have fubarred as a result?) or did he just mean that he was working on the next “Oh no, Verant/Turbine/Mythic/Wolfpack is about to ship!” reincarnation of our beloved and besmirched Ultima Online I? Be it the former or the latter, my vote is that they fix the digital entomological index that is UO:3D before they go out and start discovering entire new species of online insectoids. Tajima, if you are looking for a fancy name for this new update, I strongly suggest “Ultima Online: All the Crap that Should be Working Already” – and if you hurry, you can get www.ourcustomersaresaps.com

PAGE THREE: Picking at it until it scabs and bleeds

Yeah yeah yeah, that “15 days of UO free” offer expired. Thanks to all thirty of you who informed me of this. But I’ve also heard that this was not the only such offer to lurk within the crawlspaces of uo.com – and at least one OSI staffer took me to task for making a problem worse than it may have already been. Insert customary “dont shoot the messenger” comment here. If you ask me, anybody with a current UO account doesn’t need a free 15 day account to preview Ultima Online. The form should be smart enough to check information against the current user database to find out if the user or that credit card was already being used to pay for an account. Making a problem worse? Hardly. If anything, I’m guilty of taking a problem and making EVERYBODY KNOW THERE IS A PROBLEM. Why do I do this? Because if I’ve learned anything in my tenure here as an editor, it is this: OSI is slow to action and even slower to reaction when introduced to a problem. If nobody is looking, they don’t care if they aren’t wearing any pants. Put pictures of their bits and pieces on the internet and guess what – they reach for a bathrobe and cover their pink little cheeks. I don’t particularly like this system but so far it works and that handsomely.

PAGE FOUR: The Mother of All Fanfics

Markee Dragon, the unstoppable and immutable web grognard has published an Ultima Online fan-Fiction written by Elizabeth “Shahressa” Wilson entitled Days of Golden Dreams. What makes this fanfic so interesting? Perhaps the fact that it has THIRTY SIX CHAPTERS? You can read and/or download the story here.