UO NOW UNDER IRON FIST OF ROLEPLAYING BLACKSMITH; MILLIONS OF INNOCENT PRECASTERS FLEE IN TERROR [Author: Lum the Mad]

Kirk “Runesabre” Black, the new Producer of Ultima Online (which makes Rick “Stellerex” Hall’s tenure the shortest since they accidentally made me the Producer for twenty minutes back in ’97) has introduced himself via a new Comments update.

Ever log in to play UO and wonder why your mined ingots from the previous early morning mining session are no longer in your bank and you are standing back to the Sweet Dreams Inn just like the night before? It\’e2\’80\’99s called a \’e2\’80\’98timewarp\’e2\’80\’99 and it has been an ugly plague that has been ever prevalent since the beginning of UO. Nastier than any undead invasion, timewarps have been a constant source of anguish and frustration. All of that is about to change, and in fact has already changed if you inhabit the AOL Legends or Atlantic shards.

A few folks have already complained that the new backup scheme eliminates a tradition that sprung up around the predictable long backup times – consequence-free “server wars”. We can expect more brutal sodomization of harmless PKs as Runesabre’s reign of terror continues. He also goes on to say that back in the day…

I know years ago I had to walk uphill both ways to Minoc to smelt one small pile of ore, losing stamina every other step against the sleet and snow, only to not succeed, timewarp, and do it all again; and that was when plate gorgets required 2000 ingots!

This was, of course, before UO:Third Dawn made walking to Minoc technically impossible for many. We’ll keep you updated on Ultima Online Held Hostage as details develop, unless we forget or get bored.

Super Special Keeno Update: In our ever present struggle to bring YOU THE VIEWER the actual facts behind the story as well as the stuff we just pull out of our butts, we feel it necessary to let you know that Rick “Stellerex” Hall is still the Executive Producer. Kirk “Runesabre” Black is the Producer of UO Live. Scott “Lum the Mad” Jennings is the Incarnation Of All Evil On The Planet and not actually involved with UO save for an account he keeps for nostalgia. Thank you and good eef-ning.