WELCOME TO OUR GUILD. PLEASE TAKE YOUR CUP OF KOOL-AID AND PROCEED TO THE EMASCULATION CHAMBER. [Author: Lum the Mad]

I don’t usually post about guild sites that make my eyes explode. I mean, the bar’s pretty low already, and the great majority are just ego trips run rampant. But this… gentlemen, this is a truly special case.

Snack stock up. Depending on the length of the raid, try to have snacks and fast prepare food (microwave) ready and eat/drink at your computer so you are not afk except for bathroom breaks or cigarettes as the case may be.

I’m sorry, I love my EQ guildmates like slightly retarded younger brothers, but I am not letting tell me that I can only eat microwave-prepared food.

SHUT THE @#%$ UP. The hardness of the raid is directly proportional to the amount of chatter that is allowed. The harder it is, the less there should be. Raids aren’t a social gathering to screw around. Save that for your safe, happy little experience groups or general guild say outside of the raid environment. It takes discipline to not be typing chatter all the time. Practice it.

Dear god, the madness that produced this… it consumes my soul.

Stop it! Why are you having conversations during fights (especially in the planes). NOTHING is more important on this Earth that killing the mob in front of you. Do not talk or carry on conversations during fights unless it pertains to the fight.

NOTHING IS MORE IMPORTANT ON THIS EARTH. Not even THIS, damn you all to hell.

And finally…

DO NOT go afk unless it’s important. Mainly bathroom trips or brief snack runs to the kitchen. If you are AFK more than a couple minutes at a time, more than once an hour, it’s probably too much. You’re on a raid.

“But.. but.. I have to GO!”

“NO! Trakanon’s about to pop.”

“But I have to GOOOOOOOOOOO!”

“Report to Control IMMEDIATELY, pledge!”

Dear god. I’m still laughing. This isn’t a guild site. It’s a cry for help.