YEAH, AND YOU BETTER HOPE TODD PRATT NEVER GETS PEEKAYED, BUCKO [Author: Lum the Mad]

Sometimes, you wake up and the daily newspaper is far funnier than anything you can make up. Even the sports page.

Not enough attention is paid to the off-the-field motivators that create nasty on-field grudges,” [Doug Glanville, center fielder for the Phillies] revealed. “I believe video atrocities top the list. Curt Schilling assassinated my lovable Dwarf Paladin in EverQuest, happily smiling as his character stood in the safety of the town guards. That can create serious internal friction.

“I believe we need to analyze some of the video atrocities committed on PlayStation2 or Dreamcasts, or even the Commodore 64, if we need to go back that far. Teammates play each other all the time on these platforms in baseball simulations, football and other head-to-head games. This creates all kinds of bad blood when the winner is not as gracious as he could be.”

Playing 2 crush… it’s not just for breakfast any more.