Broken Toys

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Scott Jennings

‘DARK MAJESTY’ EXPANSION ANNOUNCED FOR ASHERON’S CALL; TO INCLUDE PLAYER HOUSING [Author: Lum the Mad]

Hey, now that I’m unemployed, I can post more updates! In comemmoration, Turbine is announcing a new expansion, introducing the new continent of Marae Lassel and, significantly, the first player-owned housing in a 3D MMORPG. Asheron’s Call: Dark Majesty builds upon the epic, evolving storyline by paving the

YOU ARE THE WEAKEST LINK.G’BYE. [Author: Arcadian Del Sol]

Senior Companions and all the robed staff of the Ultima Online Companion Program have been given the heave-ho. This comes as a huge surprise to anybody who has been in a coma the past year. As of 1:45 today, I was told that my robe will be gone at

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK [Author: Lum the Mad]

Why you won’t see any more updates from me for a few days

YOU HAVE NO CHANCE TO SURVIVE! MAKE YOUR TIME! [Author: Lum the Mad]

As seen on Quarter to Three, Derek Smart has a new product out. I’m hesitant to actually call it a game, with instructions such as these: You are going into a combat situation, so you want to activate the ship’s Passive Target Acquisition system, which controls its turrets.

VERANT KEEPIN’ IT REAL [Author: Lum the Mad]

Before After At last report, they still haven’t noticed. Shout out and mad props to to mah homie Hammerfel on da South Side for the heads up and pics. No diggity. No doubt.

TIMEWARP? TO HELL WITH THAT - WE’RE SUING! [Author: Lum the Mad]

Lawsuit: We want back the castle we lost to the server error. Jun.13.2001 by reporter I Kayon (translated into English by Lineage Gazetteer) Members of an online game have filed a lawsuit to reclaim virtual territory. This recently, as incidents of online item hacking and offline item trading

UO NEWS AND WHIRLED REPORT - SPECIAL SELF-PROMOTIONAL ISSUE [Author: Arcadian Del Sol]

Page One: Morganstern and Rosencrantz are archers Which basically means, they are dead. Why? Because archery sucks, duh. They are not mages and they are not fighters. What they are, are “meat shields” whose sole purpose is to soak up swordplay and spellduggery while the rest of your guild goes